madaboutmadaboutmadaboutmozart

there's something funny about seeing asian people drinking beer. i guess i expect them to be more refined and stick to sake or something.

it's mozart's birthday and i am in vienna!!!!!!!!!!! and i didn't even do it on purpose. i had a heavenly moment tonight. after the opera (die zauberflote [pronounce dee tzOW beh flute-uh], wasn't quite ready for it. opera is an art that should be restricted to italian, or any other language that doesn't sound ridiculous. do germans know they just sound like a parody all the time? i love german, but really.) i walked from the opera house past the huge museums and the parliament and the city hall. it was dark. and cold. but coming from the heavens (be they blessed) were the voices of angels singing mozart's coronation whatever. it's music composed for performance in cathedrals. the vienna choir boys had a performance this evening and they played it on huge speakers for people walking around the government area to hear. blisssssssssssss.

i also went to mozart's house. i saw his death mask. death masks fascinate me, which is weird i guess. but whoever thought of death masks had a good idea. else how would we know how so many famous-and-beloved people look like? portraits aren't always accurate.

MozartMozartMozart
a few mozarty things i did today. happy birthday amadeus!

visited mozart museum
bought mozart notebook
met mozart tour guide
bought mozart cd
ate mozart croissant
saw mozart death mask
used mozart cloak room
hummed mozart overture
conducted mozart melody
watched mozart opera
wrote mozart blog

i shouldn't publicize this. but when i made my reservations for the hostel in bergamo, i saw that towels are included. so i thought that would be a standard-issue hostel thing. not so, and i am dirty for it :) i went through the alternatives and none of them are feasible. a few days without a shower isn't that bad, right? hahaha. so it'll have to wait until i get back to italy saturday night. gotta shower for church. awwwwwwww italy. cuore mio.

tomorrow i might go to a palace, perhaps buy some religious paraphernalia, and head back to bratislava. that's in slovakia, once again, ladies and gentlemen.

i might fall asleep on this dirty hostel keyboard. so buona notte, or guten nacht, or good night, or just get outta here.

sava

my jeans are tired

Austria: cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold and cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't come to vienna in january.

here i am paying two euros for 45 minutes of internet time, which is now only 35. my thoughts on austria. first of all, i love that there are more colors here. the inside of every train is orange. it's a more austere society. even the voice in the metro announcing that the door is about to close, and the following rush of the doors shutting, is fatal and final. everyone speaks english, much better english than i had expected. my hostel is quite nice, which is a benedizione considering it's my first time. today i missed italia, which i suppose is beginning to feel like home.

I SAW LE NOZZE DI FIGARO TODAY!
i have that syndrome, i think--called stendhal or something. i know because when the orchestra started my heart stopped. oh and by the way the person who was supposed to be sitting in front of me (box seats, orchestra left) didn't show so i sat in a 95 euro seat. it was so beautiful. i love the mozartmania that is taking over europe; it makes things more accessible. tomorrow i go back to the opera house slash palace to see die zauberflote, also by mozart. this opera though i know nothing about.

watching the orchestra, in particular the violins, energizes this ambition in me to take violin lessons, join a city orchestra, something. i realize that i have decades ahead of me. people make you think that when you are young that is the only time you have to develop yourself. wrong! i am going to learn to play very well whether in 30 years or 3. and here at the hostel there is a piano and they have sheet music for my favorite beethoven sonata, the pathetique, which a few weeks ago i resolved to eventually learn how to play.

agh! as i have been typing i have been frustrated by the apostraphe and dash being in the wrong place but i just realized that this is an AMERICAN keyboard! and i was thinking it was wrong! no! italy really is becoming home.

today i ate wiener schnitzel and apfel streudel and some german sausage thing and a pastry. geez, after freezing today and returning home to sleep under a warm blanket, i was discouraged over having two more days in this city but now after the opera i am reencouraged. it seems less cold at night, not sure why. but i am not whining on the inside.

so a day and a half of vienna, then bratislava, then bergamo saturday night, then back to crema sunday. it's cold. i gotta go put my socks on the radiator or something :)

thanks for reading
;)
sava

no time left to think of creative subject. mariahilferstrasse!

i just want everyone to know that i went to eastern europe today.

bratislava, slovakia.

holla!

now i'm in vienna.

distracted by my own beauty

when beppe saw shawna at the severgnini house, he said 'italia ti fa bene.' then translated: italy is doing you well, you're blossoming.

italy is NOT doing me well! instead of flourishing i'm sleeping too much and breaking toilet lids.

yes, breaking toilet lids. i'm about to publicize my most private embarrassing moment :)

my swimsuit came in the mail yesterday. i had paid $20 to some online swimsuit company to send me a random swimsuit. shipping was free, even internationally, and i'm not one to avoid a risk, so sign me up. i tried it on but because the mirror in the bathroom is high i could see basically only down to my neck. i realized as i was about to get a chair from the kitchen (so i could see the whole thing) that the reason shawna closes the toilet sometimes is to stand on it and look at her outfit in the mirror. so, i VERY CAUTIOUSLY, using the lavatrice/washing machine as backup, climbed on the toilet to do the fit inspection. i pronounced it satisfactory and as i got down, the lid shattered into six heartbreaking pieces. my sole victory is that i did not fall in because of my advanced agility.

shawna's not mad. but now the weird blonde american girl has to go shopping for a toilet lid, and probably a seat/lid set because i doubt they come separately. and i already thought that everyone stares at me; will they stare more when i'm carrying around a porcelain toilet fixture?

in other news, there aren't any. italian boys wear coats with fur on the hoods. when i taught yesterday i tried to tell my students that i have a baby brother and they thought i was telling them i'm pregnant. right... the water in my apartment smells different when it gets hot, like the gas used to heat it i suppose. the students all want to know if i have a boyfriend (no), if i watch the OC (no), and which movie stars i'm in love with (no, i mean none). i think i lost points with them when i told them i listen to beethoven.

my student loan excess funds haven't yet made it to my bank account, which means i have no money other than the $100 cash my parents gave me when i got on the plane that i haven't changed into euros yet. i'll probably get maybe 75 euros for them. dang!

i read the parable of the olive tree today in jacob and i think it's pretty special :)

well i discussed with some teachers what i am going to do the next few weeks. i get to teach for the 'diritto' class, which i think means rights, which eventually translates to law, i think. so that is very familiar to me, the first chapter being composed of electoral systems and types of government (unitary, federal). facile! plus i have to do something about underdevelopment for geography and pearl harbor for history. i have to figure out some way to get away from the beloved teaching method here, which is to read/copy out of a book. i am very impressed that when i met with the teachers, we did all of the discussing and planning in italian. i am amazing.

that's enough; who's going to read this? :)

p.s.: sunday: brescia with the severgninis or church? just joking, don't want to make that choice again, but does it have to be this complicated? why doesn't anyone ever go sightseeing on saturday?

young and in love

my first day in the monolocale/studio apartment...

me: Shawna, my toothbrush moved in with yours.
Shawna: it's the metaphor for our relationship! Two toothbrushes living together in a carciofi jar.

I'm in Crema, Italy. It's an unknown town southeast of Milan in Lombardy. It is fake to me, as if someone spliced everything that looks Italian to me from movies or my perceptions and stuck them all together in one place. Concentrated images of Italian life. Surreal when paired with the questions running through my mind like 'what am I doing here?' and 'did I really get on that plane?'. The only thing to do here is 'fare le vasche' which means dress up and walk up and down the streets of downtown and go window shopping. It's a special occasion that occurs every night. It's hard not having any friends, not that I am lonely, but that I don't know what to do with myself. No transportation, little associations, no phone yet, and I just figured out what direction is north. It's nice though, learning to take life a little slower.

My mental faculties have escaped me recently. For example, thinking the light on the wing of the plane was the moon?! And saying various other dumb things. Tripping.

Sunday was pretty sweet. I missed church, which I don't want to do anymore, because I couldn't contact the only member whose number I know, I didn't know where to go, I didn't have money for the train because my American Express wouldn't work and my Visa checking account is empty. Comunque, I went to lunch at the Severgnini house (family of Paola, the professoressa I work with) and then to see the castle at Pandino. The Severgnini house is quite possibly the most impressive I've ever seen. I can't describe it but I want to take photos next time. Paola's father is old and charming. I understood all of his Italian, probably because his speech is, as he put it, adagio. Paola's brother is called Beppe Severgnini... he is the Italian correspondent for the Economist and an author. Paola gave me his latest book and he signed it. It's quite funny. In America it is called 'Ciao America! An Italian discovers the US'. Also charming he is and reminds me of a mix between Prof. Hancock of BYU and Mitch Davis. After lunch it was the castle but we didn't stay long because there was no guide so we'll go back later. I love sightseeing and observing life of the locals, so it was perfect.

A matter of curiosity is the part where I don't participate in most of the treasured practices of the Italians. My abstention from coffee, wine, cigarettes arouses many questions, which lead to questions about my religion. I usually expect people to react negatively about my religion but instead most I have met are interested in hearing a little about my beliefs... I love that it's not taboo and awkward as it sometimes can be at home. I love the idea of explaning it in this foreign language but I haven't encountered that challenge yet.

My problem today is I just want to talk to everyone and find out why. Innocent questions like Why are you a teacher? Why do you live in Crema? and pervasive ones like Why did you get married? Are you in love? and offensive ones like Why do you think you have to teach this way? Do you not have teacher development? Do you even like kids? Being in the midst of another culture just makes me think. And I want others to think about things too. Do you even like your clothes/going to discos/your life? What do you want to do with your life. Ah, the question. What do you want to do with your life?

Today one of the girls asked me if I am confused--I have finished university and I don't know whether I want to be a lawyer or a teacher or what. And yes oh how I am confused! :)

The school is strange--all the walls are painted with weird stuff. The graffiti is inside too. Like above a doorway, 'welcome to hell' and there's a graphic of a dog with a caption that translates 'bad dog'. And somewhere there is the f..... word, ugly (by the way, that word is everywhere, songs, clothes, movies, schools apparently).

Italians are so friendly!!! Always saying hi and bye and laughing and inviting. No more social awkwardness, yessss! Last night Shawna and I went out to a caf with her post-diploma student, Vincenzo, 25, and his friend Davide. They're Sicilians, from Syracuse. When we were parting and doing the go-home Italian kiss-on-the-cheek thing, Vincenzo asked how many they do in Chicago, like how many kisses (2? 3?) and when the answer was that Americans don't do that, he made the most disappointed face and said what a tragedy or something. Yeah, Americans can't have feelings apart from anger and disrespect. Sore overstatement, sorry, but think about it: those are the ones allowed/promoted on television. Always competition.

Okay, vi lascio adesso. As soon as I get settled in and oriented I will like being here a lot more. I need to find someone to talk to and someone to bombard with questions :)

The end.
Ho fame!
Savanna

gotta save this somewhere

when i'm alone i sing to you
a song that's from my heart
but before i think to write them down
the words just fall apart

so somewhere else in pieces are
ideas once so clear
and you are left not knowing what
you have every right to hear

dimmed by all these city lights
the thoughts swim in my head
as i try to spin for you
the things i should have said

i heard a song not long ago
of poetry never born
of promise broken, love long lost
of empty souls who mourn

i cant say it nor do i try
after they have gone
to collect the poems i've sung for you
they escape at come of dawn

stuck in a moment and can't get out of it

I think I have been avoiding doing one of these but I am moving to Crema, Italy soon and I want to have a way for the people who are interested in what I'm doing out there to find out and for those who don't want tons of mass emails to be able to avoid knowing what I am doing. :)

Yesterday Celeste and I drove home from Provo, mostly in the dark since we left so late. It was nearly like a dream and I had a lot of time to think, reflect, introspect. So here it is, inspired by a line I said to my friend Jordan a couple days ago: oh the places life brings you. In the past year and a half (because I'd rather not think about anything that happened earlier) as I have completed my junior and senior years of college, I have found myself in places--some at home, some abroad, but all so near--I would not have believed if you had told me even two years ago. Sometimes time stands still long enough for a girl to notice that this is a moment she should not forget. Some highlights:

-admittedly crying on a bench in the unfeeling JFK airport because I'd just missed my plane to Rome and looking up to the comfort of seeing a friend from my hometown
-relaxing an afternoon away in a hammock overlooking a vineyard just outside of Rome
-singing karaoke "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" at a full pizzeria in the Castelli Romani, near that same vineyard
-lonely on the deck of a seafaring vessel in the middle of the Adriatic Sea, looking at the lights on the shore of what must have been Croatia and Greece
-at the foot of the acropolis thinking about renegade Socrates as I look at the Parthenon as thousands of cyclists whiz past in pursuit of a gold medal
-being offered a beer (no, thanks) by an Aussie named Steve (NOT the Croc Hunter and no he doesn't have a pet platypus) at an Olympic volleyball match
-walking at sunset, alone once again, along the shores of Pireaus, Athens' port district
-sharing a taxi with lovely-faced Giorgos the Village Doctor at 3 a.m. after 2 hours of talking and waiting for the bus that wouldn't come. Too bad he never called me.
-lots of other Greek caught-in-a-moments I can't express in a list
-working lunch, homemade, every Wednesday courtesy of the zany Dr. Christensen and 8 TAs, some of whom would become some of my closest friends
-grading until 3:30 a.m. with Brice in the poli sci dungeonslashoffice
-with Rebecca making up songs about everyone we know
-in a TV studio on Election Night 2004, wearing a microphone and a hot suit, pretending that I know how to be a political analyst.
-arguing in Tijuana over the cost of a marble chess set
-under the spires of the San Diego temple as one of my best friends gets married
-meeting my new baby brother at the tender age of 20
-driving home through an evil blizzard during finals week to attend the funeral of a close friend... and finding over the months that tears for loved ones never really dry
-in the Marriott Center as Elder Oaks waves his arms in a humorously commanding manner as he declares, "it's marriage time!"
-in the classroom as a rocket scientist teaches political science theory by showing Simpsons episodes
-singing the national anthem to a stadium full of people at a minor league pro baseball game. And dragging Brandon along for support.
-floating effortlessly in a lake of salt for hours after narrowly escaping death by sandstorm
-with Spence dancing to jazz "popcorn popping on the apricot tree" as we leave the library at midnight, each of us having finished 3 pages of a 10-page policy suggestion paper due in eight hours. It was summer, okay?
-at the summit of a mountain/sheer cliff called "Angel's Landing" because apparently only an angel could land there
-Abravnel Hall, Beethoven's 9th, with Zaiah B, check that off the list of things I need to do before I die.
-sipping Babo drinks in SLC with three beautiful girls after attending the Saturday afternoon conference
-in an empty ballroom dancing my clumsy variation on the waltz with a patient Fred Astaire
-at the wedding reception of the guy who was my best friend for at least four years
-in the kitchen of a handsome Italian man as he shames me with his domestic skills and gives me jewelry
-several individual mallet-to-the-heart occasions of realizing quite unexpectedly that I love someone. Oh how it hits me all'improvviso.
-taking a final under a lamp that my Democracy in America (political philosophy! agh!) professor placed in the middle of the classroom for me after I'd complained about how dark the room is in which we'd have to write the exam
-sipping an iced vanilla storm with another one of my best friends (how many can a girl have?!) at the Nordstrom bar
-in the arms of a thousand friends I know I may not see again

I've realized this year that people are special not for the specifics of what they are as much as simply that they are yours. More than ever that to be happy you must love yourself. That the human spirit is resilient and universal and generous (find it--what a gift). That my most important learning is not found in legal pads full of notes or highlighted textbooks but in the kind of person I become. That memories live not in ticket stubs or even photographs but in relationships and, again, the person I've become. That daydreams turn into real dreams--the kind you live--with persistence and imagination. That the best relationships find at first a spontaneous birth and then are perpetuated via selflessness and diligence and laughter.

Was that sufficiently pensive?

Gather up your jackets, move it to the exits, I hope you have found a friend.

Savanna