I just posted several months--the only ones I've found so far--of the emails I sent to my family while I was on my mission. They're actually pretty good. You'll find them in the archives from last month of 2006, 2007, and January through April 2008. And what I mean by telling you this is if they show up in your RSS feed, don't be fooled into thinking they are current.
In honor of finding the emails, here are two actual thoughts I had on my mission:
1. I wish someone would invent instant mail.
2. I wish I could have a group of like 5-6 investigators that I raise from birth so that they grow up with correct ideas.
Yep.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
bad at holidays
I received advice to come back ready to confront the challenges (yes, challenges) of Miami: Edition 2010 rested and rejuvenated. Ha! I have been stressed this whole break--a fusion of worry and sense of powerlessness will do this. I will shield you, dear reader, from a bullet list of my woes. Aiuto!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
announcement
I got into graduate school!
Masters of Science in Education and Social Change at the University of Miami.
Can one be taught how to change society?
I have to register my car in Florida in the upcoming days. I'm trying to decide how ridiculous it would be to buy a University of Miami license plate, since I don't really have that much connection to the school yet.
Masters of Science in Education and Social Change at the University of Miami.
Can one be taught how to change society?
I have to register my car in Florida in the upcoming days. I'm trying to decide how ridiculous it would be to buy a University of Miami license plate, since I don't really have that much connection to the school yet.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
no title
I am bad at my job right now, even getting worse I believe, and it is really wearing me down.
I got 8 hours of sleep last night, yet in my last class I barely had strength amidst the flying crumpled pieces of paper just because of intense disappointment.
Mooooooaaan.
I got 8 hours of sleep last night, yet in my last class I barely had strength amidst the flying crumpled pieces of paper just because of intense disappointment.
Mooooooaaan.
Monday, November 23, 2009
mass love letter :)
Listen, something extraordinary has been going on in my young single adult branch over the past couple of months. I've been part of several conversations marveling over how happy we are with our little group and wondering what caused the change. It has made my experience so far highly rewarding. Feeling especially wonderful and surprised, I sent this last night to about 15 people that I feel close to. You know most of it already.
Subject: I'm not just doing this because it's Thanksgiving
My dear familia Miamiana:
Hi. This email is meant to be serious. Don't laugh too much :)
In Australia, they've invented the second person plural--they often say "yous" when they're talking to more than one person. I'm writing to say, so eloquently, that I <3 yous. A lot. I'm serious!!!
Here's a good story: getting in to Teach for America (the organization that brought me here) is kind of like getting a mission call: you apply and go through this crazy interview process, which includes choosing among 30 different regions that you'd like to move to. If you get in, you either accept the region they assign you to or you reject it. I've always wanted to live in Washington, D.C., so I thought that would be my obvious first choice. I researched each of the regions: whether they had a YSA ward, whether I'd like the local culture, the cost of living, whether there was a temple nearby, and Miami was not on my list of preferred areas. But as I prayed about it and talked to one of my friends about it, I couldn't forget Miami. I decided to look up the institute director and email him to find out more about the YSA network here. As I began the email "Dear Brother C, I am considering a move to Miami...", I experienced a profound sense of "this could be right..." and sat there at my desk at work and cried (for thankfulness). I usually don't get answers to prayers that way--usually I just decide what I want to do and ask whether there will be a stamp of approval. It was remarkable.
So I did something bold: put Miami as my only highly preferred region, removing D.C., Boston, and other areas I'd considered from the list. When I got my assignment a month and a half later and saw that I was assigned to Miami, I felt closer to eternity, that God wanted me here, that I could receive personal revelation, that this was going to be huge. It was really overwhelming for me to leave Boston, the land of my ancestors, to leave my closest friends and go where I had no family or friends and can't speak the language :) to begin an incredibly difficult job. I held my breath, packed my car, and fled New England by night.
Now.
(This is the part where words escape me.) It is so surprising to me how connected I feel to all of you, how comfortable and valued and confident and loved I feel here. I can't believe it. My happiness quotient has multiplied like 5,000 times since getting to know you. Thinking about Sundays and Wednesday nights and anything else where we get together gets me through the week. So, thank you, you're beautiful, I'm adopting you as my family here. Settled.
I luuuuurrrrrrrrve you.
Savanna
Subject: I'm not just doing this because it's Thanksgiving
My dear familia Miamiana:
Hi. This email is meant to be serious. Don't laugh too much :)
In Australia, they've invented the second person plural--they often say "yous" when they're talking to more than one person. I'm writing to say, so eloquently, that I <3 yous. A lot. I'm serious!!!
Here's a good story: getting in to Teach for America (the organization that brought me here) is kind of like getting a mission call: you apply and go through this crazy interview process, which includes choosing among 30 different regions that you'd like to move to. If you get in, you either accept the region they assign you to or you reject it. I've always wanted to live in Washington, D.C., so I thought that would be my obvious first choice. I researched each of the regions: whether they had a YSA ward, whether I'd like the local culture, the cost of living, whether there was a temple nearby, and Miami was not on my list of preferred areas. But as I prayed about it and talked to one of my friends about it, I couldn't forget Miami. I decided to look up the institute director and email him to find out more about the YSA network here. As I began the email "Dear Brother C, I am considering a move to Miami...", I experienced a profound sense of "this could be right..." and sat there at my desk at work and cried (for thankfulness). I usually don't get answers to prayers that way--usually I just decide what I want to do and ask whether there will be a stamp of approval. It was remarkable.
So I did something bold: put Miami as my only highly preferred region, removing D.C., Boston, and other areas I'd considered from the list. When I got my assignment a month and a half later and saw that I was assigned to Miami, I felt closer to eternity, that God wanted me here, that I could receive personal revelation, that this was going to be huge. It was really overwhelming for me to leave Boston, the land of my ancestors, to leave my closest friends and go where I had no family or friends and can't speak the language :) to begin an incredibly difficult job. I held my breath, packed my car, and fled New England by night.
Now.
(This is the part where words escape me.) It is so surprising to me how connected I feel to all of you, how comfortable and valued and confident and loved I feel here. I can't believe it. My happiness quotient has multiplied like 5,000 times since getting to know you. Thinking about Sundays and Wednesday nights and anything else where we get together gets me through the week. So, thank you, you're beautiful, I'm adopting you as my family here. Settled.
I luuuuurrrrrrrrve you.
Savanna
Sunday, November 15, 2009
is this my industry?
This is my graduate school application essay. It is my first and only draft, so I hope there aren't any embarrassing errors. Quotes are correctly referenced in the original document.
A gaping disparity separates what students from low-income communities and their contemporaries in wealthier neighborhoods achieve in school. Known as the achievement gap, this divide usually means lower high school graduation rates and limited salaries and opportunities for America’s racial minorities. The achievement gap is currently considered to be one of the most salient injustices in America as well as the theatre where this generation’s civil rights battle is played out.
Though it is impossible to isolate the cause of the achievement gap, it has mobilized reform-minded civil servants, education administrators, and private companies to attempt to solve the problem. One idea that is currently being systematically and scientifically researched is providing tangible incentives to students for their performance in school. Outside of elementary and secondary education, individuals and organizations work for incentives. Employees go to work and fulfill expectations in order to earn money; companies compete to make better products so they can increase their value; nations on the international stage align their conduct to get international aid. People generally make choices that will maximize the benefits that they get out of their actions.
Innovators in education have noted the importance of incentives in most aspects of modern life and reason that providing incentives for student performance will train students early on in the value of hard work and supplement the joy of learning with rewards that students in wealthier families often receive but students from low-income communities do not have access to. One line of reasoning is that if students cannot see how doing well in school will benefit their lives, if the incentives are too far removed from their interests, they may choose activities that are contrary to academic performance. Competing interests include “gang members who encourage kids to drop out and sell drugs and parents who urge their children to drop out, get a job, and help support the family”.
The premier social scientist who is studying how incentives influence student achievement is Roland Fryer, economist at Harvard and head of its Education Innovation Laboratory. Through partnerships with three of America’s largest school districts, where the achievement gap is the most pronounced, the Education Innovation Laboratory pays students cash in return for good grades, attendance, and classroom behavior. Students in Chicago, New York, and Washington, D.C. receive money according to specified indicators of performance as reported by their teachers. Because of the prominence and scope of his study, this essay uses Dr. Fryer’s work to explore how providing incentives to students for their performance affects and is viewed by their teachers, students, school administrators, and the local community.
The practice of giving students rewards for their grades is both celebrated and criticized. Critics contend that giving cash for grades undermines the joy of learning and even equates to bribing students. Advocates, including the scientists who study the effect of incentives and the administrators whose job it is to oversee students, say the solution is worth a try and is valuable as long as it yields results. Students appreciate the money. Members of the community, including parents and local media outlets, have expressed both concern and support.
Since they see manifestations of the achievement gap every day, teachers are highly affected by this issue. They play a crucial role in measuring and reporting students’ performance. Teachers whose students were involved in Dr. Fryer’s study, many of whom were skeptical at first, reported improvements in their pupils’ performance. Teachers also have incentive to improve student performance. At one school in New York City, teachers were eligible to receive a bonus of up to $3,000 when their students’ state test scores improved.
As student achievement is the primary purpose for the study on how cash incentives influence academic performance, considering how the issue affects and is viewed by students is most relevant. Official results and analysis from the Education Innovation Laboratory are not yet available, but a similar program that provided incentives for scores on Advanced Placement tests reported better scores on tests and more students going on to attend college. Similarly, anecdotal evidence from the Education Innovation Laboratory preliminarily displays improvement in academic performance.
Of course, as benefactors of the Education Innovation Laboratory rewards, students have positive reviews. Many students are enthusiastic and give thoughtful reflections about the effects of receiving money for their efforts. One 12-year-old seventh grader in the Washington, D.C. district said "I think it's a good way to motivate kids to do good work…. I think it's a good idea for the public schools." A 14-year-old student in Chicago said "I'm happy because I'm getting paid for my grades. And so, I want to work harder." This student’s response shows that receiving incentives for high performance has the correlative effect of feeling good about doing well, which could nurture an inherent joy for learning.
Administrators have a huge stake in making sure that student performance improves. In Washington, D.C., the intent of Chancellor Michelle Rhee’s appointment was largely to confront the district’s achievement gap. In her district, 36 percent of students are proficient in reading and 33 percent are proficient in math. Rhee is in favor of the controversial incentives-based program as far as it is effective, saying that it is worth a try. The focus in Washington, D.C. is on middle school students, since that is the time when students have the most difficulties with behavior and academic performance. Providing incentives helps them connect current performance with future success. Rhee says that “expecting students to do well in middle school is asking them to make a calculation on skills that will help them graduate from high school and succeed in college, ideas that to them are foreign and very far away." Rhee’s perspective is similar to that of former Chicago Public Schools CEO Arne Duncan and other administrators who are willing to test any promising strategy that will improve student performance.
While district administrators have embraced incentives for student performance, school principals have been wary of the program at first but have changed their minds upon seeing results. For example, Sheila Richards, principal of a school in Brooklyn, was opposed to Fryer’s project until she saw marked increases in student grades and students learning new values and skills to take care of their money by saving it in bank accounts. Other principals were skeptical until Dr. Fryer pitched it to them then said “We want to do whatever it takes, so if this is it, I am going to get on board.”
Parents have had mixed reactions to the practice of providing cash incentives to students for their performance. Michelle Rhee says that she has received no complaints from parents of students who are in the program. One parent and activist in D.C., though, is reported to have said that she wants her kids “to see reading and learning as something they want to do their entire life, not just something they're getting money for doing."
The achievement gap has effects beyond those on the lives of teachers, students, their families and administrators: the vibrancy of local communities depends on the strength of its citizens. In Chicago, one of the test areas where selected students in public schools receive cash for their grades, the Chicago Sun-Times published an editorial in favor of Dr. Fryer’s work for the benefits it could provide to society, saying “we like this idea and, if anything, it doesn't go far enough.” The editorial says that the rest of the world is driven by incentives so if that’s how children are going to learn, learning needs to become students’ paying job. Students must learn skills that will help them understand the world and function effectively in society, and the eventual rewards extend beyond what the students receive to benefit society.
My appreciation of this issue will be expressed most in my day-to-day classroom activities. Equipped with an understanding of how incentives for performance help students connect their daily performance in school with what they want on both the short-term and long-term scale, I can adjust my classroom efforts to maximize student achievement. While I have neither the organizational support nor the resources to give my students cash incentives, I can create a predictable, reliable, privilege-bearing incentives system that will help children realize the benefits of doing well on tests, having good attendance, and behaving well in class. I can generate reports that show the correlation between the receipt of incentives and indicators of student performance. Then, if studies such as Dr. Fryer’s ever extend to the Miami-Dade area, I can be a voice of support, having conclusive data that shows such a program can work for the students who are now limited by Miami-Dade’s achievement gap.
A gaping disparity separates what students from low-income communities and their contemporaries in wealthier neighborhoods achieve in school. Known as the achievement gap, this divide usually means lower high school graduation rates and limited salaries and opportunities for America’s racial minorities. The achievement gap is currently considered to be one of the most salient injustices in America as well as the theatre where this generation’s civil rights battle is played out.
Though it is impossible to isolate the cause of the achievement gap, it has mobilized reform-minded civil servants, education administrators, and private companies to attempt to solve the problem. One idea that is currently being systematically and scientifically researched is providing tangible incentives to students for their performance in school. Outside of elementary and secondary education, individuals and organizations work for incentives. Employees go to work and fulfill expectations in order to earn money; companies compete to make better products so they can increase their value; nations on the international stage align their conduct to get international aid. People generally make choices that will maximize the benefits that they get out of their actions.
Innovators in education have noted the importance of incentives in most aspects of modern life and reason that providing incentives for student performance will train students early on in the value of hard work and supplement the joy of learning with rewards that students in wealthier families often receive but students from low-income communities do not have access to. One line of reasoning is that if students cannot see how doing well in school will benefit their lives, if the incentives are too far removed from their interests, they may choose activities that are contrary to academic performance. Competing interests include “gang members who encourage kids to drop out and sell drugs and parents who urge their children to drop out, get a job, and help support the family”.
The premier social scientist who is studying how incentives influence student achievement is Roland Fryer, economist at Harvard and head of its Education Innovation Laboratory. Through partnerships with three of America’s largest school districts, where the achievement gap is the most pronounced, the Education Innovation Laboratory pays students cash in return for good grades, attendance, and classroom behavior. Students in Chicago, New York, and Washington, D.C. receive money according to specified indicators of performance as reported by their teachers. Because of the prominence and scope of his study, this essay uses Dr. Fryer’s work to explore how providing incentives to students for their performance affects and is viewed by their teachers, students, school administrators, and the local community.
The practice of giving students rewards for their grades is both celebrated and criticized. Critics contend that giving cash for grades undermines the joy of learning and even equates to bribing students. Advocates, including the scientists who study the effect of incentives and the administrators whose job it is to oversee students, say the solution is worth a try and is valuable as long as it yields results. Students appreciate the money. Members of the community, including parents and local media outlets, have expressed both concern and support.
Since they see manifestations of the achievement gap every day, teachers are highly affected by this issue. They play a crucial role in measuring and reporting students’ performance. Teachers whose students were involved in Dr. Fryer’s study, many of whom were skeptical at first, reported improvements in their pupils’ performance. Teachers also have incentive to improve student performance. At one school in New York City, teachers were eligible to receive a bonus of up to $3,000 when their students’ state test scores improved.
As student achievement is the primary purpose for the study on how cash incentives influence academic performance, considering how the issue affects and is viewed by students is most relevant. Official results and analysis from the Education Innovation Laboratory are not yet available, but a similar program that provided incentives for scores on Advanced Placement tests reported better scores on tests and more students going on to attend college. Similarly, anecdotal evidence from the Education Innovation Laboratory preliminarily displays improvement in academic performance.
Of course, as benefactors of the Education Innovation Laboratory rewards, students have positive reviews. Many students are enthusiastic and give thoughtful reflections about the effects of receiving money for their efforts. One 12-year-old seventh grader in the Washington, D.C. district said "I think it's a good way to motivate kids to do good work…. I think it's a good idea for the public schools." A 14-year-old student in Chicago said "I'm happy because I'm getting paid for my grades. And so, I want to work harder." This student’s response shows that receiving incentives for high performance has the correlative effect of feeling good about doing well, which could nurture an inherent joy for learning.
Administrators have a huge stake in making sure that student performance improves. In Washington, D.C., the intent of Chancellor Michelle Rhee’s appointment was largely to confront the district’s achievement gap. In her district, 36 percent of students are proficient in reading and 33 percent are proficient in math. Rhee is in favor of the controversial incentives-based program as far as it is effective, saying that it is worth a try. The focus in Washington, D.C. is on middle school students, since that is the time when students have the most difficulties with behavior and academic performance. Providing incentives helps them connect current performance with future success. Rhee says that “expecting students to do well in middle school is asking them to make a calculation on skills that will help them graduate from high school and succeed in college, ideas that to them are foreign and very far away." Rhee’s perspective is similar to that of former Chicago Public Schools CEO Arne Duncan and other administrators who are willing to test any promising strategy that will improve student performance.
While district administrators have embraced incentives for student performance, school principals have been wary of the program at first but have changed their minds upon seeing results. For example, Sheila Richards, principal of a school in Brooklyn, was opposed to Fryer’s project until she saw marked increases in student grades and students learning new values and skills to take care of their money by saving it in bank accounts. Other principals were skeptical until Dr. Fryer pitched it to them then said “We want to do whatever it takes, so if this is it, I am going to get on board.”
Parents have had mixed reactions to the practice of providing cash incentives to students for their performance. Michelle Rhee says that she has received no complaints from parents of students who are in the program. One parent and activist in D.C., though, is reported to have said that she wants her kids “to see reading and learning as something they want to do their entire life, not just something they're getting money for doing."
The achievement gap has effects beyond those on the lives of teachers, students, their families and administrators: the vibrancy of local communities depends on the strength of its citizens. In Chicago, one of the test areas where selected students in public schools receive cash for their grades, the Chicago Sun-Times published an editorial in favor of Dr. Fryer’s work for the benefits it could provide to society, saying “we like this idea and, if anything, it doesn't go far enough.” The editorial says that the rest of the world is driven by incentives so if that’s how children are going to learn, learning needs to become students’ paying job. Students must learn skills that will help them understand the world and function effectively in society, and the eventual rewards extend beyond what the students receive to benefit society.
My appreciation of this issue will be expressed most in my day-to-day classroom activities. Equipped with an understanding of how incentives for performance help students connect their daily performance in school with what they want on both the short-term and long-term scale, I can adjust my classroom efforts to maximize student achievement. While I have neither the organizational support nor the resources to give my students cash incentives, I can create a predictable, reliable, privilege-bearing incentives system that will help children realize the benefits of doing well on tests, having good attendance, and behaving well in class. I can generate reports that show the correlation between the receipt of incentives and indicators of student performance. Then, if studies such as Dr. Fryer’s ever extend to the Miami-Dade area, I can be a voice of support, having conclusive data that shows such a program can work for the students who are now limited by Miami-Dade’s achievement gap.
more things to keep
Humor me as I attempt to remember everything I want to keep from this weekend.
-I rode the bus to the Orlando temple and did an endowment session. The session was in Spanish, the translator headphones were annoying and inconsistent, and I mostly understood it, so I listened the whole time in Spanish. Yep.
-The charter bus picked up people from Kendall, Miami Beach, Plantation, and West Palm Beach. The Miami Beach cohort sat in the back and was the loudest and most fun and very aware of the possibility of being annoying. We have great branch unity.
-I worked on my graduate admission essay on the bus yesterday, then this morning before church and for a few hours tonight. I just submitted the entire application. I've always wanted to go to graduate school (which has usually meant international politics, justice, medicine, law, journalism, and usually not education unless it was ed policy or administration), so it was a big moment.
-I read a few chapters of 2 Nephi this morning and they were powerful. I am able to do mine own work is one of my favorite scriptural phrases, and the importance of Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? struck me. I find the Book of Mormon so intellectually stimulating, its doctrines so logical (I know...) and aligned. The Book of Mormon always sustains my interest.
-The assistants to the president came to our ward council/executive council meeting this morning, and they were so sharp and authoritative on how things are supposed to function. I LOVE people who know what they're talking about in situations that need to be somewhat reformed, without being arrogant of course. It's so refreshing.
-Also one of them told me something about Cuba...
-I finalized plans today for an engagement at the opera next weekend with precisely the person I'd want to go with, we had fun arranging the details, he seems pretty happy about it, and I am not driving. This makes me feel very proud of myself. The anticipation will get me through the week.
-I helped the missionaries get a new investigator or two. One guy walked into church wearing a vintage Where the Wild Things are t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hat with a feather in it. Also he had a serious Boston accent. Awesome, except I shouldn't have told him I liked his style and his accent because he started being a little too nice to me. At least he'll probably come to institute this week. He wrote it down, anyway.
-On the bus (4+ hours each way), we really got to know each other through some interesting topics of conversation (you can guess what topic we found most pressing) and I felt right at home today at church. Like I felt like people know more about what I'm really like (this is important to me since I never act completely like me in new situations), and that that person is confident and caring and joyful and bold, and the barriers I perceived before are largely gone. I've found out some amazing things about people as I've gotten to know them and have found it so rewarding.
-My hair was awesome today. I did a loose, low updo and placed my black silk flower at the side of it, and it actually looked good. Someone asked me if I did it myself.
-My mission president wrote me a letter of recommendation where he called me articulate, well educated, and charismatic. It said "I was able to witness Savanna develop a deep love and respect for individuals from third-world cultures and rather impoverished backgrounds while at the same time I witnessed her conversing well and relating with the most educated and sophisticated Melbournians..." This letter made me think about those people--both impoverished and sophisticated--that I did love deeply. Every day I realize a bit more how valuable my mission experience was and continues to be.
-A few people wrote letters of recommendation for me without giving them much time to complete the task, and I am so humbled by their willingness to turn around the somewhat ridiculous deadlines I gave them.
-November is the perfect time of year in Miami. The weather is perfect. After church we just stood in the parking lot and stared at the water and boats and setting sun.
-I'm craving some out-of-town visitors. Who is coming in December/January?
-I rode the bus to the Orlando temple and did an endowment session. The session was in Spanish, the translator headphones were annoying and inconsistent, and I mostly understood it, so I listened the whole time in Spanish. Yep.
-The charter bus picked up people from Kendall, Miami Beach, Plantation, and West Palm Beach. The Miami Beach cohort sat in the back and was the loudest and most fun and very aware of the possibility of being annoying. We have great branch unity.
-I worked on my graduate admission essay on the bus yesterday, then this morning before church and for a few hours tonight. I just submitted the entire application. I've always wanted to go to graduate school (which has usually meant international politics, justice, medicine, law, journalism, and usually not education unless it was ed policy or administration), so it was a big moment.
-I read a few chapters of 2 Nephi this morning and they were powerful. I am able to do mine own work is one of my favorite scriptural phrases, and the importance of Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? struck me. I find the Book of Mormon so intellectually stimulating, its doctrines so logical (I know...) and aligned. The Book of Mormon always sustains my interest.
-The assistants to the president came to our ward council/executive council meeting this morning, and they were so sharp and authoritative on how things are supposed to function. I LOVE people who know what they're talking about in situations that need to be somewhat reformed, without being arrogant of course. It's so refreshing.
-Also one of them told me something about Cuba...
-I finalized plans today for an engagement at the opera next weekend with precisely the person I'd want to go with, we had fun arranging the details, he seems pretty happy about it, and I am not driving. This makes me feel very proud of myself. The anticipation will get me through the week.
-I helped the missionaries get a new investigator or two. One guy walked into church wearing a vintage Where the Wild Things are t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hat with a feather in it. Also he had a serious Boston accent. Awesome, except I shouldn't have told him I liked his style and his accent because he started being a little too nice to me. At least he'll probably come to institute this week. He wrote it down, anyway.
-On the bus (4+ hours each way), we really got to know each other through some interesting topics of conversation (you can guess what topic we found most pressing) and I felt right at home today at church. Like I felt like people know more about what I'm really like (this is important to me since I never act completely like me in new situations), and that that person is confident and caring and joyful and bold, and the barriers I perceived before are largely gone. I've found out some amazing things about people as I've gotten to know them and have found it so rewarding.
-My hair was awesome today. I did a loose, low updo and placed my black silk flower at the side of it, and it actually looked good. Someone asked me if I did it myself.
-My mission president wrote me a letter of recommendation where he called me articulate, well educated, and charismatic. It said "I was able to witness Savanna develop a deep love and respect for individuals from third-world cultures and rather impoverished backgrounds while at the same time I witnessed her conversing well and relating with the most educated and sophisticated Melbournians..." This letter made me think about those people--both impoverished and sophisticated--that I did love deeply. Every day I realize a bit more how valuable my mission experience was and continues to be.
-A few people wrote letters of recommendation for me without giving them much time to complete the task, and I am so humbled by their willingness to turn around the somewhat ridiculous deadlines I gave them.
-November is the perfect time of year in Miami. The weather is perfect. After church we just stood in the parking lot and stared at the water and boats and setting sun.
-I'm craving some out-of-town visitors. Who is coming in December/January?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
sms archives
"Sentimental geek! Shut up and go to sleep!" --a Ryan Adams song.
(I do not claim that this post is interesting to anyone but myself. Maybe that should be a general disclaimer.)
This is not high on today's priorities list, but my saved text messages at the moment are at 99% capacity because I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DELETE the ones I like. It reaches 100% every day so I have to go through them and delete a couple so I can get new ones. I am a sentimental geek! I think I keep my text messages as satellite-delivered tributes to my human relationships. I wish I still had others I've deleted before. I'm going to transfer my received messages from my phone without editing them. And then I'll delete them from my phone. Yes, I will delete them.
(I don't think I'm violating anyone's trust/privacy...?)
7.2.08 ZA, one of my YMCA summer day camp kids: "Haha na its cool lol no u were my favret u were cooler then the other teachers lol."
7.13.08 CK, first Boston roommate, a week after we'd met: "Haha. YOU are the hilarious one. You've got hot moves, girl. And I LOVE YOU!!"
8.13.08 AW: "Savanna you're hilarious! I'm really looking forward to rooming with ya!"
8.25.08 NK, after teaching an FHE lesson on the banks of the Charles River: "Savanna, thank you for the awesome lesson! It was just what we needed! You're a doll!"
9.4.08 GM: "I am here at logan international :-) thank you for everything"
9.11.08 SM, when he mistakenly wandered into the Harvard office at where he didn't know I was working, reflecting on the time we went together to ask about their public policy program: "I cant help but see the irony that only a few months ago you were on the other side of that desk feeling very nervous to talk to the person sitting in the chair where you now sit so confidently."
9.12.08 TO: "I just shook barack obama's hand"
9.13.08 CK, on a consolatory message re: the death of her hamster, which we may or may not have buried near Walden Pond: "Thanks. Rob and i are planning the funeral for tonight."
9.17.08 CR: "You are a brilliant writer! Your election year entry was somewhat sporadic but i enjoyed reading it ;)"
10.4.08 CB: "I thought of you immediately when elder perry started talking of walden pond. That means we're friends. Happy conference weekend!"
10.4.08 LAE: "Elder Perry's talk this morning made me think of my visit to Boston and our exciting dip in Walden. That was pretty memorable!"
10.22.08 SM: "i just happened upon john kerry adjusting his socks"
10.27.08 AN: ":) nice one. We prayed for you last night about your job interview and read scriptures"
11.8.08 TO, two days early: "Happy birthday savannana!" two days later: "Happy birthday for real!"
11.10.08 CLN: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! LOVE YA 24?!? Crazy!"
11.10.08 VF: "Savanna!! Hope u have a great day :)"
11.10.08 JLS: "My gorgeous rose! I hope you having an amazing birthday today! I love you!"
12.8.08 SM, in response to "Iconoclast!": "Subscribe!"
12.11.08 SH, when I had a desk job replacing a lady called Pam and my supervisor, who spent a lot of time with me teaching me stuff, was Jim (this kept me going): "Altho ur croatia gift has always been hangin in my kitchen i just realized it makes a great xmas tree ornament! How r u, pam?"
12.15.08 BC: "You know--it totally made my day to hear from you. Last week, I kept thinking I wanted to email you or something and then there was your lovely text! Thank you."
12.21.08 JLS, reference to The Little Prince: "Well I am sure you can tame him, my little fox."
12.25.08 RC: "Happy Christmas! I love you lots!"
1.5.09 AN: "Bye! Miss you already! I am so happy you came down! Love love love love love love love you"
1.13.09 B, on learning of my TFA interview: "Why wouldn't they love you. You're totally lovable. Good on ya!"
1.13.o9 AN, on learning of my TFA interview: "OF COURSE YOU DID! Yay! :) :) :) kill em"
1.26.09 B, on a significant moment: "There's your fax."
2.24.09 XW, coming to get me after my train journey from Beijing to Shanghai: "I'm almost there. the traffic is bad in shanghai when it rains."
3.31.09 AM: Hey girl! I love you and shall miss you! I wish we were still bashing around beantown writing npr stories together! Thanks for taking such great care of us!"
4.16.09 AS. I won this battle: "Your mom is inappropriate"
5.2.09 LL: "Sorry, i had to cut it short because the people next to me are breaking up and i didn't want to miss all the juicy conversation. :-)"
5.5.09 CMN, in response to "we make a great team": "Yes we do"
5.11.09 CR: "Um, sure. Don't move. Please"
5.15.09 CR: "That flower your supervisor gave you was a delphineum. I just found it and thought of you :) Hope the drive is going well!"
5.15.09 SH, on telling her that my travel companion believes she's one of the nicest people on the planet: "Aw he must not know you very well then cuz id say you'd win that prize."
5.15.09 AN, from the brain of a 13-year-old: "Nicee. Is he a friend.. Or you know... Friendlier? Haha"
5.28.09 AN: "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i love emergency pancakes!"
6.6.09 TO: "I can see florida becoming a holy place with ur help"
6.11.09 PJC: "You guys are the stars!! Thank you all for being so hard working and dedicated for your students!!"
6.13.09 CR: "I just saw a pigeon use a crosswalk. Walked the whole thing. And even waited for a car to pass. Ha!"
6.20.09 SM: "I was climbing one of utah's tallest mountains. I meant to climb the tallest one but my map was not very accurate so i climbed the one next to it :)"
7.22.09 AG "aww it's totally true :) we all know p loves you :)"
7.25.09 SM, hilarious response to "Can we go to Cuba if it opens while I live in Miami?": "If we can afford it"
8.18.09 SO: "Room 233 = the class of a thousand new beginnings"
9.1.09 SM, in response to "I can see Cuba from my house": "Haha. Sav, you're great! How many friends do i have that can appreciate a quality joke like that? :) "
9.4.09 SM, after leaving staying with my family while I was not there: "Now leaving the most educated town in america. Thanks Sav we had fun"
9.5.09 TO, when I resented that I couldn't find any BYU football fans and was watching the game alone: "I'm watching it with you"
9.17.09 CK: "You're hot and i would love for you to teach my kids. That's all."
10.3.09 CDN, when Pres. Monson announced plans to construct a temple in South Florida: "Ft lauderdale! You got your wish ..."
10.23.09 SM, in response to "I'm eating Cuban food. Viva la revolucion!": "Viva la sav!"
10.31.09 CR, in response to "I might not come back from Boston": "We love u and miss u! And this is your home now, remember?"
10.2.09 JW, I'd just gotten through security at the airport: "I miss you already..."
I'm not deleting this year's birthday messages yet!!!! They're still fresh.
(I do not claim that this post is interesting to anyone but myself. Maybe that should be a general disclaimer.)
This is not high on today's priorities list, but my saved text messages at the moment are at 99% capacity because I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DELETE the ones I like. It reaches 100% every day so I have to go through them and delete a couple so I can get new ones. I am a sentimental geek! I think I keep my text messages as satellite-delivered tributes to my human relationships. I wish I still had others I've deleted before. I'm going to transfer my received messages from my phone without editing them. And then I'll delete them from my phone. Yes, I will delete them.
(I don't think I'm violating anyone's trust/privacy...?)
7.2.08 ZA, one of my YMCA summer day camp kids: "Haha na its cool lol no u were my favret u were cooler then the other teachers lol."
7.13.08 CK, first Boston roommate, a week after we'd met: "Haha. YOU are the hilarious one. You've got hot moves, girl. And I LOVE YOU!!"
8.13.08 AW: "Savanna you're hilarious! I'm really looking forward to rooming with ya!"
8.25.08 NK, after teaching an FHE lesson on the banks of the Charles River: "Savanna, thank you for the awesome lesson! It was just what we needed! You're a doll!"
9.4.08 GM: "I am here at logan international :-) thank you for everything"
9.11.08 SM, when he mistakenly wandered into the Harvard office at where he didn't know I was working, reflecting on the time we went together to ask about their public policy program: "I cant help but see the irony that only a few months ago you were on the other side of that desk feeling very nervous to talk to the person sitting in the chair where you now sit so confidently."
9.12.08 TO: "I just shook barack obama's hand"
9.13.08 CK, on a consolatory message re: the death of her hamster, which we may or may not have buried near Walden Pond: "Thanks. Rob and i are planning the funeral for tonight."
9.17.08 CR: "You are a brilliant writer! Your election year entry was somewhat sporadic but i enjoyed reading it ;)"
10.4.08 CB: "I thought of you immediately when elder perry started talking of walden pond. That means we're friends. Happy conference weekend!"
10.4.08 LAE: "Elder Perry's talk this morning made me think of my visit to Boston and our exciting dip in Walden. That was pretty memorable!"
10.22.08 SM: "i just happened upon john kerry adjusting his socks"
10.27.08 AN: ":) nice one. We prayed for you last night about your job interview and read scriptures"
11.8.08 TO, two days early: "Happy birthday savannana!" two days later: "Happy birthday for real!"
11.10.08 CLN: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! LOVE YA 24?!? Crazy!"
11.10.08 VF: "Savanna!! Hope u have a great day :)"
11.10.08 JLS: "My gorgeous rose! I hope you having an amazing birthday today! I love you!"
12.8.08 SM, in response to "Iconoclast!": "Subscribe!"
12.11.08 SH, when I had a desk job replacing a lady called Pam and my supervisor, who spent a lot of time with me teaching me stuff, was Jim (this kept me going): "Altho ur croatia gift has always been hangin in my kitchen i just realized it makes a great xmas tree ornament! How r u, pam?"
12.15.08 BC: "You know--it totally made my day to hear from you. Last week, I kept thinking I wanted to email you or something and then there was your lovely text! Thank you."
12.21.08 JLS, reference to The Little Prince: "Well I am sure you can tame him, my little fox."
12.25.08 RC: "Happy Christmas! I love you lots!"
1.5.09 AN: "Bye! Miss you already! I am so happy you came down! Love love love love love love love you"
1.13.09 B, on learning of my TFA interview: "Why wouldn't they love you. You're totally lovable. Good on ya!"
1.13.o9 AN, on learning of my TFA interview: "OF COURSE YOU DID! Yay! :) :) :) kill em"
1.26.09 B, on a significant moment: "There's your fax."
2.24.09 XW, coming to get me after my train journey from Beijing to Shanghai: "I'm almost there. the traffic is bad in shanghai when it rains."
3.31.09 AM: Hey girl! I love you and shall miss you! I wish we were still bashing around beantown writing npr stories together! Thanks for taking such great care of us!"
4.16.09 AS. I won this battle: "Your mom is inappropriate"
5.2.09 LL: "Sorry, i had to cut it short because the people next to me are breaking up and i didn't want to miss all the juicy conversation. :-)"
5.5.09 CMN, in response to "we make a great team": "Yes we do"
5.11.09 CR: "Um, sure. Don't move. Please"
5.15.09 CR: "That flower your supervisor gave you was a delphineum. I just found it and thought of you :) Hope the drive is going well!"
5.15.09 SH, on telling her that my travel companion believes she's one of the nicest people on the planet: "Aw he must not know you very well then cuz id say you'd win that prize."
5.15.09 AN, from the brain of a 13-year-old: "Nicee. Is he a friend.. Or you know... Friendlier? Haha"
5.28.09 AN: "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i love emergency pancakes!"
6.6.09 TO: "I can see florida becoming a holy place with ur help"
6.11.09 PJC: "You guys are the stars!! Thank you all for being so hard working and dedicated for your students!!"
6.13.09 CR: "I just saw a pigeon use a crosswalk. Walked the whole thing. And even waited for a car to pass. Ha!"
6.20.09 SM: "I was climbing one of utah's tallest mountains. I meant to climb the tallest one but my map was not very accurate so i climbed the one next to it :)"
7.22.09 AG "aww it's totally true :) we all know p loves you :)"
7.25.09 SM, hilarious response to "Can we go to Cuba if it opens while I live in Miami?": "If we can afford it"
8.18.09 SO: "Room 233 = the class of a thousand new beginnings"
9.1.09 SM, in response to "I can see Cuba from my house": "Haha. Sav, you're great! How many friends do i have that can appreciate a quality joke like that? :) "
9.4.09 SM, after leaving staying with my family while I was not there: "Now leaving the most educated town in america. Thanks Sav we had fun"
9.5.09 TO, when I resented that I couldn't find any BYU football fans and was watching the game alone: "I'm watching it with you"
9.17.09 CK: "You're hot and i would love for you to teach my kids. That's all."
10.3.09 CDN, when Pres. Monson announced plans to construct a temple in South Florida: "Ft lauderdale! You got your wish ..."
10.23.09 SM, in response to "I'm eating Cuban food. Viva la revolucion!": "Viva la sav!"
10.31.09 CR, in response to "I might not come back from Boston": "We love u and miss u! And this is your home now, remember?"
10.2.09 JW, I'd just gotten through security at the airport: "I miss you already..."
I'm not deleting this year's birthday messages yet!!!! They're still fresh.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I can do this.
For the first 6 or so weeks of my new job, I found it unavoidable to come home after a 10-hour day of teaching science (if you can call it that) and stare at the wall, or at something else that didn't talk or require anything of me, for a few hours. I'm sure I painted the wall with the question "WHAT just happened?" using the same pigment that children use to compose imaginary friends. (Of course, the question never had an answer.) Then I would fall asleep involuntarily, wake up, panic, prepare for the next day, get a little sleep, wake up with my mind racing, work some more, put my ailing Saab on an autopilot course to the middle school, and come home at 6 or later for a few more hours of wall-staring.
The height of this shocked exhaustion came on Friday nights, when I could stare at the wall for hours without threat of an ensuing panic session and the pressure of inner-city 12-year-olds looming. I knew this was the time most people used to decompress--teachers love a little thing called happy hour, but I had no energy beyond what it takes to push the up button on the elevator, turn the key, and collapse in the living room.
I snapped out of these "WHAT just happened?" sessions about a month ago, and I've spent far fewer hours staring at walls and more doing actual work or having fun with friends. I haven't chosen to spend a Friday night or Saturday night at home since the first weekend in October. I think this is a crucial point in my career, and I'm pretty sure it can only get better from here.
The height of this shocked exhaustion came on Friday nights, when I could stare at the wall for hours without threat of an ensuing panic session and the pressure of inner-city 12-year-olds looming. I knew this was the time most people used to decompress--teachers love a little thing called happy hour, but I had no energy beyond what it takes to push the up button on the elevator, turn the key, and collapse in the living room.
I snapped out of these "WHAT just happened?" sessions about a month ago, and I've spent far fewer hours staring at walls and more doing actual work or having fun with friends. I haven't chosen to spend a Friday night or Saturday night at home since the first weekend in October. I think this is a crucial point in my career, and I'm pretty sure it can only get better from here.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
how to save the world
I think one of the most noble and necessary things individuals, families, communities, societies, governments, intergovernmental associations can do is to incorporate others' self-interest with their own.
This is what makes families work. This is what can quench the violence that robs young adults of their lives, what can reverse the impoverishment of desperate communities that are made invisible to the consciousness of the comfortable class, what can soothe the conflicts that drain nations of their wealth. This is why charity (in the pure love of Christ sense, not in the tax-deductible contribution sense) is powerful: when I love you, your self-interest actually becomes mine and your happiness becomes my intrinsic motivation.
I know it's not that simple, and I know it's obvious, but this is my important realization for the weekend.
This is what makes families work. This is what can quench the violence that robs young adults of their lives, what can reverse the impoverishment of desperate communities that are made invisible to the consciousness of the comfortable class, what can soothe the conflicts that drain nations of their wealth. This is why charity (in the pure love of Christ sense, not in the tax-deductible contribution sense) is powerful: when I love you, your self-interest actually becomes mine and your happiness becomes my intrinsic motivation.
I know it's not that simple, and I know it's obvious, but this is my important realization for the weekend.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Do you ever smile?
Today, one of my students in one of my new classes that I taught for the second time just today asked me this question, which I ignored: "Do you ever smile? do you ever laugh?"
YESSSSSS!!!!!
If you know me well, you know this is a BIG accomplishment. ;)
I've actually been very serious at work.
(By the way, the reason my blog is called Savanna still smiles is that my parents may have gotten my name from a movie called Savannah Smiles, which is about this little rich girl that gets kidnapped and is so cute and sweet that she melts her captors' hearts--just like me, correct? Savanna smiles, but Ms. Nilsen does not, at least not for a few more successful class periods with this new set of kids.)
(And the still in Savanna still smiles comes from something else, which I may write about when I possess the appropriate amount of gravity.)
YESSSSSS!!!!!
If you know me well, you know this is a BIG accomplishment. ;)
I've actually been very serious at work.
(By the way, the reason my blog is called Savanna still smiles is that my parents may have gotten my name from a movie called Savannah Smiles, which is about this little rich girl that gets kidnapped and is so cute and sweet that she melts her captors' hearts--just like me, correct? Savanna smiles, but Ms. Nilsen does not, at least not for a few more successful class periods with this new set of kids.)
(And the still in Savanna still smiles comes from something else, which I may write about when I possess the appropriate amount of gravity.)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
it's a fact
This graph, from 0 to probably half an hour before 9, represents actual amounts of sleep I've gotten before a day of teaching. The zero to 4s were HARD weeks. Yes, weeks.
The dependent variable and proposed relationship may/may not be true and/or meaningful. But I had this strange impulse to create a graph using Microsoft Paint--which, by the way, has improved a lot since the last time I used it.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
guilt
I have to send my mission president some photos and as I've been looking through them tonight, the foremost thing I've felt is regret for all the things I know very well I could have and should have done better and the people I should have done better at loving. This annoys me because I know most of my work and relationships there were good. Why do I do this to myself? Does anyone know what I mean?
And now to lighten the mood, here's a sequence of photos. Sister Mesake and I had birthdays a week apart (November 10, that's right, mark it in your digital calendar. It's only weeks away.). The elders brought us exactly two cupcakes (I did ask them where the other 10 went). I found this hilarious when we did it; I find it hilarious tonight.
And now to lighten the mood, here's a sequence of photos. Sister Mesake and I had birthdays a week apart (November 10, that's right, mark it in your digital calendar. It's only weeks away.). The elders brought us exactly two cupcakes (I did ask them where the other 10 went). I found this hilarious when we did it; I find it hilarious tonight.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
a title is a first impression that i'm hesitant to make right now
Because I want to be emotionally resilient and loyal to my record of boldly doing intimidating things on my own, I have been avoiding using this word
lonely
but I have disliked Miami over the past couple of weeks and it has to stop and I don't think it will until I confront
lonely
as it stands before me.
Plus, I doubt that I had my faithful audience fooled.
:)
Allow me to explain: most of the people in my YSA branch are younger and live with their families about 30-40 minutes away from me and speak mostly Spanish. They generally definitely buy into pop culture more than I do. They often go out together to eat in big, lively, chatting groups after activities. By contrast, I moved out seven years ago. I take life really seriously and need really deep connections with people. There is only one other returned sister missionary. We get along well. She lives with her family like half an hour away. Everyone is really so so friendly. I don't understand, though, how I can form those meaningful relationships without more common ground. And I know that sounds selfish.
Today in Sunday School, one of the guys who attends the same Sunday morning meetings I do was accessing a Koran app on his iPhone. He was also talking about something interesting about the Koran he saw on the Discovery Channel. You know this means my hope regarding the previous paragraph immediately shot up. :) But I can't really tell him he's my numero uno prospect for a great friend. Haha.
I have some especially solid friendships with people in my program, but our ideas of how to use weekends differ greatly to the point where I need to severely limit my time with them. I will leave you to make inferences there. It's really important to me to be in wholesome environments, not just avoid behaviors that take place in more permissive environments. Sigh, in other words, I'm just weird.
And then there's the city. I hope I can figure out how my intellectual self fits in with Miami's urban glam. I think that's going to involve lots of exploring and trying lots of new things, which I can definitely handle. But if I'm to maximize the fun, I have to convince others that what I like to do is actually interesting. ;)
Current ambitions include driving around the design district photographing murals (okay, I can handle urbanity), snorkeling as often as possible, camping in the Everglades, taking dance lessons again (free in Boston; $10-15 a session in Miami), ethnic food, the 2010 opera season, getting a beach cruiser, using the faculty gym after school, moonlight ocean swimming. I must must must must learn Spanish. I think I'm also starting a Master's of Science in Education and Social Change next semester. Being in a university setting will definitely make me feel like I'm in my element. And I have a pretty great calling, which if I pay more attention to it, can be very rewarding.
This concrete gift has arrived despite my feelings of isolation despite being surrounded: I have tremendous clarity regarding what I want out of life and the people that are in it over the next several years.
By the way--while I appreciate that, yes, things will get better, I'm not the defeatist "things will get better eventually" type. I'm the "make things better now" type.
(I'm also mildly terrified, if that is possible, that after all this I'll find I'm not actually interested in education reform, and that international relations is what it always claimed to be, my true passion. I'll address that at an indefinite later.)
lonely
but I have disliked Miami over the past couple of weeks and it has to stop and I don't think it will until I confront
lonely
as it stands before me.
Plus, I doubt that I had my faithful audience fooled.
:)
Allow me to explain: most of the people in my YSA branch are younger and live with their families about 30-40 minutes away from me and speak mostly Spanish. They generally definitely buy into pop culture more than I do. They often go out together to eat in big, lively, chatting groups after activities. By contrast, I moved out seven years ago. I take life really seriously and need really deep connections with people. There is only one other returned sister missionary. We get along well. She lives with her family like half an hour away. Everyone is really so so friendly. I don't understand, though, how I can form those meaningful relationships without more common ground. And I know that sounds selfish.
Today in Sunday School, one of the guys who attends the same Sunday morning meetings I do was accessing a Koran app on his iPhone. He was also talking about something interesting about the Koran he saw on the Discovery Channel. You know this means my hope regarding the previous paragraph immediately shot up. :) But I can't really tell him he's my numero uno prospect for a great friend. Haha.
I have some especially solid friendships with people in my program, but our ideas of how to use weekends differ greatly to the point where I need to severely limit my time with them. I will leave you to make inferences there. It's really important to me to be in wholesome environments, not just avoid behaviors that take place in more permissive environments. Sigh, in other words, I'm just weird.
And then there's the city. I hope I can figure out how my intellectual self fits in with Miami's urban glam. I think that's going to involve lots of exploring and trying lots of new things, which I can definitely handle. But if I'm to maximize the fun, I have to convince others that what I like to do is actually interesting. ;)
Current ambitions include driving around the design district photographing murals (okay, I can handle urbanity), snorkeling as often as possible, camping in the Everglades, taking dance lessons again (free in Boston; $10-15 a session in Miami), ethnic food, the 2010 opera season, getting a beach cruiser, using the faculty gym after school, moonlight ocean swimming. I must must must must learn Spanish. I think I'm also starting a Master's of Science in Education and Social Change next semester. Being in a university setting will definitely make me feel like I'm in my element. And I have a pretty great calling, which if I pay more attention to it, can be very rewarding.
This concrete gift has arrived despite my feelings of isolation despite being surrounded: I have tremendous clarity regarding what I want out of life and the people that are in it over the next several years.
By the way--while I appreciate that, yes, things will get better, I'm not the defeatist "things will get better eventually" type. I'm the "make things better now" type.
(I'm also mildly terrified, if that is possible, that after all this I'll find I'm not actually interested in education reform, and that international relations is what it always claimed to be, my true passion. I'll address that at an indefinite later.)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I saw France
Tee hee, I'm writing at school, delighted that I found an interesting portal to the internet that somehow has not yet been blocked. I may be terminated from the blogosphere in a few minutes.
Yesterday, in the middle of class, student, A., stood up but his pants fell down, leaving me with a sudden view of his plaid underclothes. He was in the back of the class and he and I were the only two people that noticed. A. looked at me with an urgent, silent plea to not react, and I just said calmly that I saw nothing. No student who watched my face when it happened would have even known that anything had happened, and no one wondered what I was talking about.
I am a wonderful teacher.
Yesterday, in the middle of class, student, A., stood up but his pants fell down, leaving me with a sudden view of his plaid underclothes. He was in the back of the class and he and I were the only two people that noticed. A. looked at me with an urgent, silent plea to not react, and I just said calmly that I saw nothing. No student who watched my face when it happened would have even known that anything had happened, and no one wondered what I was talking about.
I am a wonderful teacher.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
it's too quiet
*I guess I was wrong about not being able to finish, because I wrote another few lines. I guess the sentiment lasted longer than a couple of hours.
It's Too Quiet
I wasn't lonely 'til the rain came,
drops on the glass the only sound.
But what I want to hear is my name
while I am driving you around.
I thought that this was what I wanted,
thought I could go out on my own.
Thought I could fly, but I am grounded.
Don't want to do this all alone.
Now there's a palm tree out my window.
Against the moon, I guess it's nice.
But it also casts a shadow,
A doubt that I can do this right.
1. A writer who wants to keep her ideas keeps a notebook on her nightstand or in her purse rather than scribbling on napkins at dinner (guilty) or receipts while waiting in line (and guilty). I've discovered a voice recorder on my phone that fulfills a similar purpose for when I'm driving (or moonlight power walking on the beach...it's therapeutic) and I find a companionship of lyrics and a simple melody on my mind. If I were Missy Higgins or Casey Cotter, someone else would hear what I recorded on my phone. But since I am Savanna and I actually don't know how to compose music, it will endure only as words.
That was song-downgraded-to-unfinished poem. Nope, it's not directed at anyone. The ideas came as a package and I unfolded them. I stepped outside tonight and realized that driving to a stranger's house and buying their desk and bringing it home to assemble it (and many other things in life) is a lot more fun if you're hanging out with someone.
And you know what? It's not great, but I want to keep it. And I might even finish it.
2. Somewhere there is a book that I carried around as my poetry journal for a few years. Most of the things I wrote were unfinished. My closest friend my freshman year used to tease me about this. He said I should create a book of unfinished poetry, finishable by the reader, for my honors project (which project I never did). If I don't finish a poem within the sitting where I wrote it, it probably will never be finished. Inspiration must be in the room with me.
Actually, I think I'll go look for that book.
It's Too Quiet
I wasn't lonely 'til the rain came,
drops on the glass the only sound.
But what I want to hear is my name
while I am driving you around.
I thought that this was what I wanted,
thought I could go out on my own.
Thought I could fly, but I am grounded.
Don't want to do this all alone.
Now there's a palm tree out my window.
Against the moon, I guess it's nice.
But it also casts a shadow,
A doubt that I can do this right.
1. A writer who wants to keep her ideas keeps a notebook on her nightstand or in her purse rather than scribbling on napkins at dinner (guilty) or receipts while waiting in line (and guilty). I've discovered a voice recorder on my phone that fulfills a similar purpose for when I'm driving (or moonlight power walking on the beach...it's therapeutic) and I find a companionship of lyrics and a simple melody on my mind. If I were Missy Higgins or Casey Cotter, someone else would hear what I recorded on my phone. But since I am Savanna and I actually don't know how to compose music, it will endure only as words.
That was song-downgraded-to-unfinished poem. Nope, it's not directed at anyone. The ideas came as a package and I unfolded them. I stepped outside tonight and realized that driving to a stranger's house and buying their desk and bringing it home to assemble it (and many other things in life) is a lot more fun if you're hanging out with someone.
And you know what? It's not great, but I want to keep it. And I might even finish it.
2. Somewhere there is a book that I carried around as my poetry journal for a few years. Most of the things I wrote were unfinished. My closest friend my freshman year used to tease me about this. He said I should create a book of unfinished poetry, finishable by the reader, for my honors project (which project I never did). If I don't finish a poem within the sitting where I wrote it, it probably will never be finished. Inspiration must be in the room with me.
Actually, I think I'll go look for that book.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
to purify the heart's bitter ashes
While I'm at it...I wrote this my sophomore year at BYU for Dr. Ludlow's Isaiah class. Writing it led to some important events in my life. It's based on chapter 53. No I will not fix the capitalization and punctuation. :)
His birth? Not a surprise
His coming not a mystery
For they
They the prophets
have uttered
The promise
Of a Savior.
It may as well
Have been a whisper,
For those who should receive
Would not believe.
He came,
The promised Savior,
Who grew up in the desert,
Who was cultivated
by the word
And nurtured by the example
Of his perfect Father;
Cherished raised taught
by his lovely mother
in the land
barren of truth -
The truth he'd learn,
The truth necessary
to teach the world
And to show the Father's way.
His smile wasn't dazzling.
He didn't command respect.
The people didn't notice
When he shopped at market
Or sold Joseph's works
Or walked the streets of Nazareth.
But he noticed us,
the people all around.
He recognized
Lamenting eyes
He healed
The Sightless
Comforted
The Friendless
Sheltered
The Cold
With a soothing touch
And an affirmation
Of the soul's completion.
We were writhing
Without effect
In the clutches of the
Irreprehensible
law of justice
and condemned
to the cause of death,
the keys to our safety
long melted,
fused unusable,
Hope dripping,
Escaping through the pores
Of the concrete
prison
walls
which
ensured
our
captivity.
Walls which could never be broken
Except by a God
Who is broken bruised torn
Laid to rest
By the grievances
Toward his Father
Which He did not perform.
Compelled not by any force,
He submitted himself
As the necessary
unblemished gift.
A decision
Dictated
By love
For the creation-children
Of His Father.
Descended below all
That he may lift above
Experienced perfect deficiency
That we may become whole
Loved every sinner
That each may become clean
Adopted every insult
Against eternity
That its aching
Might be consoled.
The griefs we bear
The sorrows we carry
Disappointment
That
Hurts more than a burn,
Burns more than a torch.
The torch makes wounds aware;
Exposing
Emptiness,
Opening
aged scars.
Healing is ours
Rich sweet beautiful
Melting running flowing
To enclose
Each pain;
To swathe
Each craving
For fullness;
To purify
The heart's bitter ashes.
Healing is ours
pacifying, replacing every pain.
And so
As He outstretched his hand,
His healing hand,
To renovate
A shattered
Tabernacle of clay,
He offers his hand
Now
An immediate offering
To steal away
The tears
That corrupt our mortal eyes.
An offering motivated
Only by the possibility
That he
May hold me
May hold you
May hold every being
In his arms
Past the regulatory bar
And the threshold of the throne.
Forever united
As mutual victors
Over the enemies
That once had threatened
To scream against
The peaceful silence
Of forever love
And Eternal repose.
November 20, 2003
His birth? Not a surprise
His coming not a mystery
For they
They the prophets
have uttered
The promise
Of a Savior.
It may as well
Have been a whisper,
For those who should receive
Would not believe.
He came,
The promised Savior,
Who grew up in the desert,
Who was cultivated
by the word
And nurtured by the example
Of his perfect Father;
Cherished raised taught
by his lovely mother
in the land
barren of truth -
The truth he'd learn,
The truth necessary
to teach the world
And to show the Father's way.
His smile wasn't dazzling.
He didn't command respect.
The people didn't notice
When he shopped at market
Or sold Joseph's works
Or walked the streets of Nazareth.
But he noticed us,
the people all around.
He recognized
Lamenting eyes
He healed
The Sightless
Comforted
The Friendless
Sheltered
The Cold
With a soothing touch
And an affirmation
Of the soul's completion.
We were writhing
Without effect
In the clutches of the
Irreprehensible
law of justice
and condemned
to the cause of death,
the keys to our safety
long melted,
fused unusable,
Hope dripping,
Escaping through the pores
Of the concrete
prison
walls
which
ensured
our
captivity.
Walls which could never be broken
Except by a God
Who is broken bruised torn
Laid to rest
By the grievances
Toward his Father
Which He did not perform.
Compelled not by any force,
He submitted himself
As the necessary
unblemished gift.
A decision
Dictated
By love
For the creation-children
Of His Father.
Descended below all
That he may lift above
Experienced perfect deficiency
That we may become whole
Loved every sinner
That each may become clean
Adopted every insult
Against eternity
That its aching
Might be consoled.
The griefs we bear
The sorrows we carry
Disappointment
That
Hurts more than a burn,
Burns more than a torch.
The torch makes wounds aware;
Exposing
Emptiness,
Opening
aged scars.
Healing is ours
Rich sweet beautiful
Melting running flowing
To enclose
Each pain;
To swathe
Each craving
For fullness;
To purify
The heart's bitter ashes.
Healing is ours
pacifying, replacing every pain.
And so
As He outstretched his hand,
His healing hand,
To renovate
A shattered
Tabernacle of clay,
He offers his hand
Now
An immediate offering
To steal away
The tears
That corrupt our mortal eyes.
An offering motivated
Only by the possibility
That he
May hold me
May hold you
May hold every being
In his arms
Past the regulatory bar
And the threshold of the throne.
Forever united
As mutual victors
Over the enemies
That once had threatened
To scream against
The peaceful silence
Of forever love
And Eternal repose.
November 20, 2003
Monday, September 7, 2009
some highlights from school
I've been the instructional leader of room 233 for two whole weeks. Wouldn't you like to know what's been going on? A comprehensive report will never happen, but here are some of my favorite moments. In chronological order.
1. I was NOT expecting this! My first note from my program director. I carried it around with me for a few minutes after I read it. He left it on his way out of his observation of my class Thursday during first week of school. I was expecting "hey Savanna, your lesson was actually boring, and you should have responded to those two students this way." He visited during my first period class. If Tom would have attended my 5th or 6th period class, his song would have been different. By the way Tom, I love my kids too!
2. My executive director came to observe my class this week. The note she left said this was the funniest thing she'd ever seen:
Ms N: Everyone point at the new poster in the room. Can I have a silent volunteer read the new poster?
Some student: "'No one has written your destiny for you. Your destiny is in your hands, and don't you forget that.' --President Barack Obama
Ms N: What does this quote mean?
Students: You are in charge of your life. You control your future. And so on.
Ms N: Everyone point at the person in this room who controls your life
Most students: [point at themselves]
Contingent of students in the corner of the room: [point at the ceiling]
Ms N: [what are they doing?] No! Point at the person in this room who controls your life.
Students in the corner: [continue to point at the ceiling]
Ms N: No! Who has control over your life?
Students in the corner: God!
Ms N: [pause...] I hadn't factored that in.
3. G, 6th grader, who smiles so big when she understands something. Walking by me as I guide the line to lunch: Ms Nilsen, you look pretty today. I like the color of your eyes.
Ms N on the inside: [moved to tears] G, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! Little people are mean to me all day and then you say something like that and it makes everything better and it means so much to me.
Ms N on the outside: [very professionally, composed, with a coating of distance] Why thank you, G. THat's very kind of you.
4. Next. We're filling out a guided notes page on comparing hurricanes and tornadoes.
One of my students, very urgently: How do you know all this?
:)
1. I was NOT expecting this! My first note from my program director. I carried it around with me for a few minutes after I read it. He left it on his way out of his observation of my class Thursday during first week of school. I was expecting "hey Savanna, your lesson was actually boring, and you should have responded to those two students this way." He visited during my first period class. If Tom would have attended my 5th or 6th period class, his song would have been different. By the way Tom, I love my kids too!
2. My executive director came to observe my class this week. The note she left said this was the funniest thing she'd ever seen:
Ms N: Everyone point at the new poster in the room. Can I have a silent volunteer read the new poster?
Some student: "'No one has written your destiny for you. Your destiny is in your hands, and don't you forget that.' --President Barack Obama
Ms N: What does this quote mean?
Students: You are in charge of your life. You control your future. And so on.
Ms N: Everyone point at the person in this room who controls your life
Most students: [point at themselves]
Contingent of students in the corner of the room: [point at the ceiling]
Ms N: [what are they doing?] No! Point at the person in this room who controls your life.
Students in the corner: [continue to point at the ceiling]
Ms N: No! Who has control over your life?
Students in the corner: God!
Ms N: [pause...] I hadn't factored that in.
3. G, 6th grader, who smiles so big when she understands something. Walking by me as I guide the line to lunch: Ms Nilsen, you look pretty today. I like the color of your eyes.
Ms N on the inside: [moved to tears] G, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! Little people are mean to me all day and then you say something like that and it makes everything better and it means so much to me.
Ms N on the outside: [very professionally, composed, with a coating of distance] Why thank you, G. THat's very kind of you.
4. Next. We're filling out a guided notes page on comparing hurricanes and tornadoes.
One of my students, very urgently: How do you know all this?
:)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
deliverance
"At the end of the day, it's actually not about you."
--my TforA summer school director
I started reading the Book of Mormon from page one tonight since the stake president said today at stake conference that one of his goals is for everyone to read it by December 31, 2009. If every session goes as it did tonight, what will be foremost on my mind while reading will be the students that I will meet as they enter my classroom tomorrow.
I have never before realized how captivating an introduction Nephi gave to his family's saga: he writes that the residents of Jerusalem were angry with Lehi, mocked him, sought to cast him out, stone him, slay him, take away his life. It's a pretty clear indication of the near-impossibilities they encountered.
Nephi immediately contrasts this account of grave obstacles with a statement of confidence, one grounded in real experience from his life. "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." -1 Nephi 1:20. If I was reading this for the first time, I might be curious, intrigued, but sharing the author's perspective on what he actually had experienced was remarkable. It triggered a remember-how-merciful-the-Lord-hath-been response that brought hope and promise to my own obstacle-ridden venture into education reform.
Tonight, the promise of deliverance is not about me. I understand what I need to do to attain it for myself, and I am not worried about it. My concern is the kind of captivity that keeps these children in poverty, that says that only 49% of them will graduate high school, that moves to stifle their expectations of themselves, that limits their opportunity to access the brilliance and humanity and divinity that I know each of them has. I am a beginning teacher who really has little idea of what it takes to succeed as a teacher, let alone as a teacher in an urban setting. I need something beyond my own preparation and even beyond my training. I need to become mighty even unto the power of deliverance. That is not my power. I think it starts with faith.
[these things I cannot write on my TforA blog. Can you imagine...? :) ]
--my TforA summer school director
I started reading the Book of Mormon from page one tonight since the stake president said today at stake conference that one of his goals is for everyone to read it by December 31, 2009. If every session goes as it did tonight, what will be foremost on my mind while reading will be the students that I will meet as they enter my classroom tomorrow.
I have never before realized how captivating an introduction Nephi gave to his family's saga: he writes that the residents of Jerusalem were angry with Lehi, mocked him, sought to cast him out, stone him, slay him, take away his life. It's a pretty clear indication of the near-impossibilities they encountered.
Nephi immediately contrasts this account of grave obstacles with a statement of confidence, one grounded in real experience from his life. "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." -1 Nephi 1:20. If I was reading this for the first time, I might be curious, intrigued, but sharing the author's perspective on what he actually had experienced was remarkable. It triggered a remember-how-merciful-the-Lord-hath-been response that brought hope and promise to my own obstacle-ridden venture into education reform.
Tonight, the promise of deliverance is not about me. I understand what I need to do to attain it for myself, and I am not worried about it. My concern is the kind of captivity that keeps these children in poverty, that says that only 49% of them will graduate high school, that moves to stifle their expectations of themselves, that limits their opportunity to access the brilliance and humanity and divinity that I know each of them has. I am a beginning teacher who really has little idea of what it takes to succeed as a teacher, let alone as a teacher in an urban setting. I need something beyond my own preparation and even beyond my training. I need to become mighty even unto the power of deliverance. That is not my power. I think it starts with faith.
[these things I cannot write on my TforA blog. Can you imagine...? :) ]
Thursday, August 20, 2009
a note or two from the day
I think that writing about my TFA experience so far is a lost cause. Let's just say this has been and will be one of the most special times of my life. Just a few misorganized notes on today:
I sat with some people I didn't know at lunch. One teacher was from Argentina; one from Cuba; one from Chile. The one from Cuba turned to the others and said "doesn't she just glow?" Puzzled, I asked her to repeat herself. "You have a glow. A healthy living glow." I thought that was a Sunday School myth, that people actually say that.
Also, another teacher addressed me using the title Cutie Pie.
As usual, I'm behind all the other TFA corps members in getting my classroom and plans first-day ready. This experience, just to warn you, brings a person into a most painful awareness of her weaknesses. I think I figured out why I don't work efficiently: I am reluctant to commit to something if I don't believe in it or love it. So I pore over ideas; I revise sentences; I revise words; I change the font from 12 point to 14 to 10.5; I write classroom rules, resent them, and devise new ones. I work for a long time but get little accomplished. Unless I am fully engaged--then I produce. This must must must must change. Teaching must burn it out of my personality.
Here's what I do have. My current rules are Be respectful. Be proactive. Be responsible. They were more complicated before, but I changed them and then made a poster of them so that I wouldn't be tempted to change them anymore. I'm going to have students create examples of what this looks like in action, as well as feed them with my own vision of what it means.
I met one of my students today. I just saw her wandering and asked her name and remembered it from studying my rosters earlier. She instantly became the most interesting person in the world to me. Magic is going to happen this year if that's how I felt about just one little person.
Also, I'm not scared of being in the classroom. Believe it or not, I was actually very serious while teaching this summer. Like I don't think I even laughed in front of my students. I know, right? But I didn't get to know my students very well over summer school and I'm so excited for that. For the little moments when I know I've helped one person, or twenty. What hugely intimidates me is planning and having to be creative and being tired.
And how long is it going to take to snap out of my I'm-shy-and-intimidated-because-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing-and-I'm-not-myself phase? I don't like it and it took 2 full weeks of instruction to get out of it over the summer.
And that is where I suddenly stop writing.
PS I've noticed that the tone of my posts is largely introspective. In other words, I write about myself a lot. Please bear with me while I use myself as a subject for understanding humanity. :) Though using an atypical subject to represent a very large group of people is a bad science mistake.
I sat with some people I didn't know at lunch. One teacher was from Argentina; one from Cuba; one from Chile. The one from Cuba turned to the others and said "doesn't she just glow?" Puzzled, I asked her to repeat herself. "You have a glow. A healthy living glow." I thought that was a Sunday School myth, that people actually say that.
Also, another teacher addressed me using the title Cutie Pie.
As usual, I'm behind all the other TFA corps members in getting my classroom and plans first-day ready. This experience, just to warn you, brings a person into a most painful awareness of her weaknesses. I think I figured out why I don't work efficiently: I am reluctant to commit to something if I don't believe in it or love it. So I pore over ideas; I revise sentences; I revise words; I change the font from 12 point to 14 to 10.5; I write classroom rules, resent them, and devise new ones. I work for a long time but get little accomplished. Unless I am fully engaged--then I produce. This must must must must change. Teaching must burn it out of my personality.
Here's what I do have. My current rules are Be respectful. Be proactive. Be responsible. They were more complicated before, but I changed them and then made a poster of them so that I wouldn't be tempted to change them anymore. I'm going to have students create examples of what this looks like in action, as well as feed them with my own vision of what it means.
- Side story: One reason I finally committed to these rules. The word proactive means a lot to me. I know, weird. It's because my school director this summer was a pretty solid Savanna fan. This was confusing because I really didn't shine at anything during summer school. There is no way I would have made it on the "this is why they're hot" board illustrating different teachers' strengths. I got less sleep than most people spending more hours on work that wasn't as good. This general incompetence would have been overwhelming for me if not for this relationship and the one my corps member advisor and I established. Anyway, upon learning that my school director often talked about me on the way back to campus from our summer school site and that he really appreciated me (okay, my source used much more emphatic language, but I won't), I eased him into a conversation about why. His response? "Savanna, everyone loves you. [Me: huh?] You're [something. happy? enthusiastic?], genuine and proactive. I gave you a nickname (Savannarator 2000)." And so on. Proactive. Yes I think I would love my rules if they said that. And certainly my students won't know what it means. I might pitch it like this: be professional at being active, in helping people, in solving problems, in owning your future.
- Completely off topic, but from the same night when we were saying see-ya-someday: my advisor said "Savanna, I'm going to miss you. I didn't see you coming." That was probably one of my favorite things I've heard someone say. Ha. I miss them. Time-and-space machine, please.
I met one of my students today. I just saw her wandering and asked her name and remembered it from studying my rosters earlier. She instantly became the most interesting person in the world to me. Magic is going to happen this year if that's how I felt about just one little person.
Also, I'm not scared of being in the classroom. Believe it or not, I was actually very serious while teaching this summer. Like I don't think I even laughed in front of my students. I know, right? But I didn't get to know my students very well over summer school and I'm so excited for that. For the little moments when I know I've helped one person, or twenty. What hugely intimidates me is planning and having to be creative and being tired.
And how long is it going to take to snap out of my I'm-shy-and-intimidated-because-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing-and-I'm-not-myself phase? I don't like it and it took 2 full weeks of instruction to get out of it over the summer.
And that is where I suddenly stop writing.
PS I've noticed that the tone of my posts is largely introspective. In other words, I write about myself a lot. Please bear with me while I use myself as a subject for understanding humanity. :) Though using an atypical subject to represent a very large group of people is a bad science mistake.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Girl needs a to-do list
Hi. I'm looking for a to-do list computer program. Specifications:
Anyone have any ideas?
Anna? :)
- One-time items roll over to the next day if I don't take them off the list.
- Items that recur daily or weekly or monthly or yearly.
- In order to pop them right off the list, I mark them with labels that say, for example, done or I don't care about this anymore or I actually still care, but I don't want to think about it until after August 24 and then they disappear.
- Hierarchy of items: if you don't get this done you will in no way be able to do this.
- A simple, streamlined look--perhaps just a word or two appears in the list and if you hover, a more detailed explanation appears.
- Ooh, premium feature: If I think of something when I'm on the go, I can send a text message to the program with an item and it will ask me later if I want to add it.
- Such a list would pop up on the right side of my screen and still run when I close it as an icon on the bottom right corner, kind of like an AIM buddy list would back in the day when I used to use it.
Anyone have any ideas?
Anna? :)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I'll be marketing a line of tropics-inspired scents soon
"Savanna, you smell like a mermaid. All tropical and sparkly."
--my roommate Allie, upon taking a photo with me at the beach after I'd emerged from a swim in the deep blue
--my roommate Allie, upon taking a photo with me at the beach after I'd emerged from a swim in the deep blue
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
my first poem to my new home
Miami, I will love you
don't know how to but I will
and if you dare me not to
then I'll try harder still
Lovable moments from Tuesday's commute:
1. Adjacent businesses Dogma Grill and Karma Carwash
2. Car affixed to the side of a 3-story building, like it had used the building as a runaway truck ramp (which term you may only understand if you've driven on steep mountain passes) and stopped 3/4 of the way up. Why? I don't know.
3. Abandoned white stucco building where someone painted the phrase "Art By God" and silhouettes of dinosaurs parading across like ducklings
Lovable sequence of events from after work:
1. Hearing a 0% chance of rain forecast for the evening
2. Finally using the Savanna-is-beach-ready bag I now keep in the car at all times
3. Discovering that parking meters in Miami Beach are free after 6 p.m.
4. Finding the place where the savanna meets the ocean (I am both a person and a geographical feature) and that it is exactly 1.5 miles from my house
5. About that place: it's just the kind of beach that I prefer. It drops off pretty fast so it's deep enough for real swimming. It is still hot at 6 p.m. and the water is pretty much the same temperature as the air. I'd actually never experienced that before. Amazing. You know where I'll be at 6 p.m. as often as possible.
I found the dinosaur parade on a Google Image search.
Ooh, and the car too!
don't know how to but I will
and if you dare me not to
then I'll try harder still
Lovable moments from Tuesday's commute:
1. Adjacent businesses Dogma Grill and Karma Carwash
2. Car affixed to the side of a 3-story building, like it had used the building as a runaway truck ramp (which term you may only understand if you've driven on steep mountain passes) and stopped 3/4 of the way up. Why? I don't know.
3. Abandoned white stucco building where someone painted the phrase "Art By God" and silhouettes of dinosaurs parading across like ducklings
Lovable sequence of events from after work:
1. Hearing a 0% chance of rain forecast for the evening
2. Finally using the Savanna-is-beach-ready bag I now keep in the car at all times
3. Discovering that parking meters in Miami Beach are free after 6 p.m.
4. Finding the place where the savanna meets the ocean (I am both a person and a geographical feature) and that it is exactly 1.5 miles from my house
5. About that place: it's just the kind of beach that I prefer. It drops off pretty fast so it's deep enough for real swimming. It is still hot at 6 p.m. and the water is pretty much the same temperature as the air. I'd actually never experienced that before. Amazing. You know where I'll be at 6 p.m. as often as possible.
I found the dinosaur parade on a Google Image search.
Ooh, and the car too!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Brie this is for you.
Oh the changes I would make if I were to write these again. I can't figure out how to password protect this entry, and can't be bothered right now, so I just truncated some names. Hello, world, enjoy. Hello, Brie, here's what I submitted, and good luck. Here for you if you have questions.
Letter of Intent
Dear T-- for A-- Selection Committee:
T-- for A-- appeals to my interest in confronting inequality and my desire to develop educational skills. My parents buried a stillborn child during my junior year of high school. He was buried in “Babyland,” the area of the cemetery where the youngest children rest. The headstones on either side of my baby brother’s grave were in Spanish, as were many of the surrounding headstones. I supposed that their babies were more susceptible because the Hispanic community had less access to preventative health care. The injustice I observed solidified an interest in opposing inequality that had long been developing.
I have been searching for a profession that will allow me to express this desire to combat inequality. I attended a recent lecture by U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings where she promoted teaching as an appropriate career for bright students who want to make a difference. While I had been considering T-- for A-- for several years, Secretary Spelling’s comments helped me recognize how to make a meaningful contribution to the development of both education and society.
Being a corps member would also provide fundamental training for my future profession. I aspire to become a principal, one intimately acquainted with the challenges involved in education and the concerns of students and teachers. My experiences with T-- for A-- would grant me the awareness necessary to influence policy.
As a corps member, I would hope to help develop in the students a sense of agency in their lives. I want them to own acumen and power to pursue goals, to define their lives rather than simply accept what lot life gives them. I hope to help them disbelieve in the impossible that is imposed by external limitations— for example, low income. A student who senses his own influence will choose to participate in civil society and contribute to a healthy community. Students will develop this sense of agency largely incrementally as they understand the world, learn to think independently, and express ideas through writing.
I also look forward to interacting with individual students, coming to know their personalities, needs, and motivations. Thus I may see the students for who they are, as well as the underlying cause of problems they may face. By understanding my students, I can preclude prejudice and effectively help them through challenges. I also hope to build relationships of trust with their parents and communicate what I expect of their children.
In sum, I want to be involved in T-- for A-- because I subscribe to its mission. Education is not a commodity, tradable to the extent of students’ purchasing power; children in low-income communities need not be impoverished. President Woodrow Wilson once said, “There is a happy coincidence between the spirit of learning and the true spirit of American life. Learning knows no differences of social caste or privilege...Genius comes into what family it pleases, and laughs at the orders of society, takes delight in humble origins, and yet will appear in palaces." I want this to be true in America.
Sincerely,
Savanna
Obstacles Essay
Finding in Frankstown
As an official representative of my church, I worked in Victoria, Australia. My purpose as a missionary was to present our message of faith, giving individuals opportunity to accept it through joining the church. Our message especially benefited those connected as families. Most missionaries generally approached the challenge of finding people to teach by knocking on doors, speaking with people on the street, and contacting referrals. I was urgently, acutely aware of the need to plan better finding activities specifically suited to the unique character of each area where I worked. Frankstown was one of these areas.
I arrived in Frankstown to a teaching pool that needed to be replenished, but finding people to teach was difficult. Prejudice against the church had been so pervasive that one missionary was pushed from his bicycle regularly. Passengers of cars rolled down windows to shout insults at us. I supposed that a misunderstanding of the church caused this prejudice, but did not know how to address it.
The question became a recurring subject of study and prayer. In my search for a remedy I encountered advice given to church leaders in its early history: “I have…many people in this city, whom I will gather…through your instrumentality. Therefore…you should form acquaintance with men in this city.” I decided to increase our visibility by offering service in the community, hoping to both form acquaintance with people that I could teach and mitigate prejudice.
After presenting the idea to my companion, she and I went to work, intent on finding people to serve. We visited P--, who had ordered a DVD. P-- and her friend, A--, were discussing her move to Adelaide. Suffering from various ailments, they worried that they were physically unable to prepare for the move. My companion and I immediately recognized our opportunity. We promised to return two days later with several colleagues; P-- and A-- promised sandwiches.
Together we packed the house and loaded the van. P-- departed for Adelaide, leaving A-- to clean the house for inspection. Again we saw an opportunity and returned in the morning. At the end of the day, we sat on the kitchen floor with A--, another friend, T.J., and T.J.’s children, K-- and K--. The children knew little about Christianity but wanted to learn more. They became our new family to teach.
I had wonderful times teaching this family. A-- occasionally joined us, always affirming that while she respected our beliefs, she had her own. She invited us over for her Christmas barbecue but I was soon transferred from the area, leaving another missionary to continue the work in Frankstown.
I found out months after leaving Australia that A-- requested the missionary lessons and joined the church. This represented the ultimate reward for a missionary’s efforts. I am not certain whether the community-wide prejudice subsided, but I saw individual lives improve. Success came from thoughtfully considering what the area needed, isolating the cause of the problem, boldly making sacrifices, and deliberately pursuing the course toward resolution.
Letter of Intent
Dear T-- for A-- Selection Committee:
T-- for A-- appeals to my interest in confronting inequality and my desire to develop educational skills. My parents buried a stillborn child during my junior year of high school. He was buried in “Babyland,” the area of the cemetery where the youngest children rest. The headstones on either side of my baby brother’s grave were in Spanish, as were many of the surrounding headstones. I supposed that their babies were more susceptible because the Hispanic community had less access to preventative health care. The injustice I observed solidified an interest in opposing inequality that had long been developing.
I have been searching for a profession that will allow me to express this desire to combat inequality. I attended a recent lecture by U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings where she promoted teaching as an appropriate career for bright students who want to make a difference. While I had been considering T-- for A-- for several years, Secretary Spelling’s comments helped me recognize how to make a meaningful contribution to the development of both education and society.
Being a corps member would also provide fundamental training for my future profession. I aspire to become a principal, one intimately acquainted with the challenges involved in education and the concerns of students and teachers. My experiences with T-- for A-- would grant me the awareness necessary to influence policy.
As a corps member, I would hope to help develop in the students a sense of agency in their lives. I want them to own acumen and power to pursue goals, to define their lives rather than simply accept what lot life gives them. I hope to help them disbelieve in the impossible that is imposed by external limitations— for example, low income. A student who senses his own influence will choose to participate in civil society and contribute to a healthy community. Students will develop this sense of agency largely incrementally as they understand the world, learn to think independently, and express ideas through writing.
I also look forward to interacting with individual students, coming to know their personalities, needs, and motivations. Thus I may see the students for who they are, as well as the underlying cause of problems they may face. By understanding my students, I can preclude prejudice and effectively help them through challenges. I also hope to build relationships of trust with their parents and communicate what I expect of their children.
In sum, I want to be involved in T-- for A-- because I subscribe to its mission. Education is not a commodity, tradable to the extent of students’ purchasing power; children in low-income communities need not be impoverished. President Woodrow Wilson once said, “There is a happy coincidence between the spirit of learning and the true spirit of American life. Learning knows no differences of social caste or privilege...Genius comes into what family it pleases, and laughs at the orders of society, takes delight in humble origins, and yet will appear in palaces." I want this to be true in America.
Sincerely,
Savanna
Obstacles Essay
Finding in Frankstown
As an official representative of my church, I worked in Victoria, Australia. My purpose as a missionary was to present our message of faith, giving individuals opportunity to accept it through joining the church. Our message especially benefited those connected as families. Most missionaries generally approached the challenge of finding people to teach by knocking on doors, speaking with people on the street, and contacting referrals. I was urgently, acutely aware of the need to plan better finding activities specifically suited to the unique character of each area where I worked. Frankstown was one of these areas.
I arrived in Frankstown to a teaching pool that needed to be replenished, but finding people to teach was difficult. Prejudice against the church had been so pervasive that one missionary was pushed from his bicycle regularly. Passengers of cars rolled down windows to shout insults at us. I supposed that a misunderstanding of the church caused this prejudice, but did not know how to address it.
The question became a recurring subject of study and prayer. In my search for a remedy I encountered advice given to church leaders in its early history: “I have…many people in this city, whom I will gather…through your instrumentality. Therefore…you should form acquaintance with men in this city.” I decided to increase our visibility by offering service in the community, hoping to both form acquaintance with people that I could teach and mitigate prejudice.
After presenting the idea to my companion, she and I went to work, intent on finding people to serve. We visited P--, who had ordered a DVD. P-- and her friend, A--, were discussing her move to Adelaide. Suffering from various ailments, they worried that they were physically unable to prepare for the move. My companion and I immediately recognized our opportunity. We promised to return two days later with several colleagues; P-- and A-- promised sandwiches.
Together we packed the house and loaded the van. P-- departed for Adelaide, leaving A-- to clean the house for inspection. Again we saw an opportunity and returned in the morning. At the end of the day, we sat on the kitchen floor with A--, another friend, T.J., and T.J.’s children, K-- and K--. The children knew little about Christianity but wanted to learn more. They became our new family to teach.
I had wonderful times teaching this family. A-- occasionally joined us, always affirming that while she respected our beliefs, she had her own. She invited us over for her Christmas barbecue but I was soon transferred from the area, leaving another missionary to continue the work in Frankstown.
I found out months after leaving Australia that A-- requested the missionary lessons and joined the church. This represented the ultimate reward for a missionary’s efforts. I am not certain whether the community-wide prejudice subsided, but I saw individual lives improve. Success came from thoughtfully considering what the area needed, isolating the cause of the problem, boldly making sacrifices, and deliberately pursuing the course toward resolution.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
to put it way more simply
The thing I really wanted to ultimately say is we need to choose a better way to do business than asking people we don't really know on [first] dates. :)
Your comments tell me I was not very clear about that.
Your comments tell me I was not very clear about that.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
imbalance of power
I'm going to get statistical with you.
The background: My institute class when I lived in Boston was on relationships. My stake president's wife (with whom I shared a mutual sense of you're-pretty-awesome) devised a curriculum that included all sorts of relationships. Dating was certainly on the agenda with rows full of young single adults, but much of it was about relationships with God, family, friends, and self; having fun; difficult conversations; and so on.
The stimulus: I want to address a position I expressed when we were talking about dating. The general question was is it okay for a lady to ask out a guy (those are my favorite words to describe each gender, I think). I do not intend this to be a thorough or even accurate analysis, but an insight into how I feel about this subject.
The short answer: This was the answer I said in class: I am accustomed to identifying something I want to happen and then making it happen. In fact, I think I'm pretty good at it. If I identify what I think will be a good relationship and elect to initiate something, I'm expressing an integral part of who I am. If he is uncomfortable with that, he will not appreciate that aspect of what it means to be Savanna and probably won't fully appreciate me anyway. Next.
(There are so many assumptions embedded in this topic, one of which is that going on dates as we know it is the best way to form a relationship that will lead to courtship, which I actually don't believe one little bit. Perhaps I don't believe it because I see myself as outside the reaches of success under this system; perhaps I don't believe it because I think the process is fundamentally flawed. I have so much to say about this, but not now.)
Now I'm to the good part. Or is it the bad part?
The position: I feel like in the traditional dating model (guy meets a lady, guys asks her to join him in a structured evening activity, lady accepts or declines), there is a huge imbalance of power.
When I have brought this up, some of my guy friends have replied that women have more control than they think they do over their dating lives because they can issue signals that reveal their availability and interest. If that is power, it is very soft power. It can be misinterpreted; it can be misunderstood; it can be conveniently ignored; it is rarely resolved; it is hardly resolvable.
The conceptualization: I illustrate the imbalance of power problem in the traditional dating scheme using an oversimplified model: one man, ten women. Each is single. Each is singing "wouldn't you love somebody to love?" in their head. At this point, the man can choose among any of the ten women to ask on a date. The value of his power of choice is 10. He chooses one woman to ask. At this point, she has a binary choice: yes is 1 and no is 0. The value of her power of choice is .5. He has 20 times as much power as she does. And the only reason she even has any power is that he offered it to her. The other 9 women have zero power and they will have none until they receive a similar offer. If we distribute this power to choose across all ten women, each has an average power-to-choose value of .05 for each event. Compared to any given woman in this set, he has 200 times as much decision-making power as she does.
As someone who values people having the freedom to pursue worthwhile things in life, I reaaaaally dislike that disparity.
Introduce more men into the system, you say? It doesn't change the validity of the model; if all women in the set are single, every man in the set has an equal opportunity to invite every woman in the set. Scheduling conflicts from women having multiple engagements are irrelevant because they are easy to resolve. Also, the way things usually go, only a few of the ten women would regularly receive an opportunity to exercise their power of choice, even with more men offering opportunities.
The concluding opinion: In such highly critical situations that will dramatically influence each person's life, the power to decide should be distributed more evenly.
The background: My institute class when I lived in Boston was on relationships. My stake president's wife (with whom I shared a mutual sense of you're-pretty-awesome) devised a curriculum that included all sorts of relationships. Dating was certainly on the agenda with rows full of young single adults, but much of it was about relationships with God, family, friends, and self; having fun; difficult conversations; and so on.
The stimulus: I want to address a position I expressed when we were talking about dating. The general question was is it okay for a lady to ask out a guy (those are my favorite words to describe each gender, I think). I do not intend this to be a thorough or even accurate analysis, but an insight into how I feel about this subject.
The short answer: This was the answer I said in class: I am accustomed to identifying something I want to happen and then making it happen. In fact, I think I'm pretty good at it. If I identify what I think will be a good relationship and elect to initiate something, I'm expressing an integral part of who I am. If he is uncomfortable with that, he will not appreciate that aspect of what it means to be Savanna and probably won't fully appreciate me anyway. Next.
(There are so many assumptions embedded in this topic, one of which is that going on dates as we know it is the best way to form a relationship that will lead to courtship, which I actually don't believe one little bit. Perhaps I don't believe it because I see myself as outside the reaches of success under this system; perhaps I don't believe it because I think the process is fundamentally flawed. I have so much to say about this, but not now.)
Now I'm to the good part. Or is it the bad part?
The position: I feel like in the traditional dating model (guy meets a lady, guys asks her to join him in a structured evening activity, lady accepts or declines), there is a huge imbalance of power.
When I have brought this up, some of my guy friends have replied that women have more control than they think they do over their dating lives because they can issue signals that reveal their availability and interest. If that is power, it is very soft power. It can be misinterpreted; it can be misunderstood; it can be conveniently ignored; it is rarely resolved; it is hardly resolvable.
The conceptualization: I illustrate the imbalance of power problem in the traditional dating scheme using an oversimplified model: one man, ten women. Each is single. Each is singing "wouldn't you love somebody to love?" in their head. At this point, the man can choose among any of the ten women to ask on a date. The value of his power of choice is 10. He chooses one woman to ask. At this point, she has a binary choice: yes is 1 and no is 0. The value of her power of choice is .5. He has 20 times as much power as she does. And the only reason she even has any power is that he offered it to her. The other 9 women have zero power and they will have none until they receive a similar offer. If we distribute this power to choose across all ten women, each has an average power-to-choose value of .05 for each event. Compared to any given woman in this set, he has 200 times as much decision-making power as she does.
As someone who values people having the freedom to pursue worthwhile things in life, I reaaaaally dislike that disparity.
Introduce more men into the system, you say? It doesn't change the validity of the model; if all women in the set are single, every man in the set has an equal opportunity to invite every woman in the set. Scheduling conflicts from women having multiple engagements are irrelevant because they are easy to resolve. Also, the way things usually go, only a few of the ten women would regularly receive an opportunity to exercise their power of choice, even with more men offering opportunities.
The concluding opinion: In such highly critical situations that will dramatically influence each person's life, the power to decide should be distributed more evenly.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
à mon avis
Some of the most unattractive things a person can say (and you may assume the converse is true):
"I don't want to know what is going on in the world"
or
"I don't care to read the newspaper because it's only bad news"
[If the second is you, allow me to help you with your media literacy.]
I've heard these statements several times this week, and they are just ugly to me.
"I don't want to know what is going on in the world"
or
"I don't care to read the newspaper because it's only bad news"
[If the second is you, allow me to help you with your media literacy.]
I've heard these statements several times this week, and they are just ugly to me.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Things that MUST happen this summer
In order to count this summer a success, Savanna will...
...in tandem with her collab group, lead her students to meet their summer growth goals (TFAspeak).
...in tandem with her collab group, lead her students to pass the 8th grade math CRCT and go to high school.
...see fireflies.
...hike in the redwoods. Take many photos.
...swim in a river.
...pay my respects to my grandfather who is buried in northern California and whose funeral I missed while I was in Australia.
...generally enjoy the family road trip.
...tour NASA headquarters.
...be an agritourist, by which I mean go see Adam's orange grove.
...find an apartment with a fitness center and a pool, which is pretty much the standard in Miami.
...spend some time with the grandparents.
...spend some time with the mission friends.
...spend some time with the BYU friends.
...visit Utah in order to fulfill the previous three requirements.
...lay on a blanket in Provo canyon and stare at the sky, which must be peppered with stars and embellished with shooting stars
...play at 7 Peaks.
...work out a way to refuse someone's offer to buy me an alcoholic drink with humor and while preserving their dignity.
...move to Miami.
...spend a weekend in Savannah.
...attend a wedding.
...distribute thank-you tokens as appropriate.
...find a pair of attractive and functional shoes for teaching.
...consume a pork salad and horchata at Costa Vida. Or is it Costa Azul?
...update my personal financial management scheme, which right now is vaguely defined as "spend as little money as possible." I need an accounting system.
...get in touch with all the people I said I would get in touch with and haven't.
...create a management, investment, and procedures system for my classroom that I can believe in.
...get a tennis racket.
...decide what kind of tone and tenor I want my professional life to have and deliberately act in accordance with that in all micro-to-macro decisions I make. (I'm starting to see what kind of influence I want to be on people and situations...)
To be updated. Any suggestions?
(notice how I add some things that I am definitely, unavoidably going to do? I need to give myself a few points on the success-o-meter.)
...in tandem with her collab group, lead her students to meet their summer growth goals (TFAspeak).
...in tandem with her collab group, lead her students to pass the 8th grade math CRCT and go to high school.
...see fireflies.
...hike in the redwoods. Take many photos.
...swim in a river.
...pay my respects to my grandfather who is buried in northern California and whose funeral I missed while I was in Australia.
...generally enjoy the family road trip.
...tour NASA headquarters.
...be an agritourist, by which I mean go see Adam's orange grove.
...find an apartment with a fitness center and a pool, which is pretty much the standard in Miami.
...spend some time with the grandparents.
...spend some time with the mission friends.
...spend some time with the BYU friends.
...visit Utah in order to fulfill the previous three requirements.
...lay on a blanket in Provo canyon and stare at the sky, which must be peppered with stars and embellished with shooting stars
...play at 7 Peaks.
...work out a way to refuse someone's offer to buy me an alcoholic drink with humor and while preserving their dignity.
...move to Miami.
...spend a weekend in Savannah.
...attend a wedding.
...distribute thank-you tokens as appropriate.
...find a pair of attractive and functional shoes for teaching.
...consume a pork salad and horchata at Costa Vida. Or is it Costa Azul?
...update my personal financial management scheme, which right now is vaguely defined as "spend as little money as possible." I need an accounting system.
...get in touch with all the people I said I would get in touch with and haven't.
...create a management, investment, and procedures system for my classroom that I can believe in.
...get a tennis racket.
...decide what kind of tone and tenor I want my professional life to have and deliberately act in accordance with that in all micro-to-macro decisions I make. (I'm starting to see what kind of influence I want to be on people and situations...)
To be updated. Any suggestions?
(notice how I add some things that I am definitely, unavoidably going to do? I need to give myself a few points on the success-o-meter.)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
made not born
Two stones in my pocket girl, I keep them for my dreams
I give them both to you now 'cause you need them more than me
--a song
(Listen, I'm using the weblog these days mostly to process my response to challenges. Please don't assume they represent my general state of mind. Please?)
First day of July 2007, nearly seven months about arriving in Australia: I found out I'd be training a new missionary, a Fiji Indian Australian. I'd just been abruptly removed from a city-like area I felt like was mine (to replace a missionary who had to go home) to a remote area where I felt very uncomfortable. I overhead a conversation between two people that sounded something like this: "Sister Nilsen is training...that's weird...yeah I didn't expect that either." What?! It was not a supportive conversation and compounded the insecurities I already felt about my preparation to help set the tone for one of the most important experiences of this person's life.
A few days later at the transfer meeting, I cornered a selection of my mission leaders and friends and asked each one "do you believe in me?" I needed to hear from someone that I trusted to tell me that they did so I could use it as material to convince myself to do the same.
June 2009, a new experience with its accompanying insecurities and doubts confronts me: intensive round-the-clock excellent teacher training--the best training in the country, I believe. Teaching 8th grade math at summer school in a high-stakes environment. If these children don't learn from me, they're not going to high school with their classmates next year. Equipping myself to be a competent secondary science teacher in an urban school this fall. I wish I could address in a sentence or two how high the standards are around here.
I need someone I trust to believe in me.
My corps member adviser (CMA, the one who is with a group of 12 of us at school all day, who reviews our lesson plans and teaching) is an absolute priceless gem. I am in awe over his dedication to his students, his powers of expression and articulation, his vibrant personality, his wit, his thoughtfulness, his sense of honor, his moral compass that points fiercely to integrity. The man is unreal. Can you tell he is my newest hero?
Mr. CMA has told a few people that he believes they are going to be great teachers, that he sees great potential in them. He did tell me that TFA doesn't make mistakes in choosing people, but that comment wasn't about me specifically. I know this is selfish, but I need him...or someone who has insight into this experience and into me...to tell me they believe in me and why. I need to know exactly how what TFA and my students need connects with what I have to offer. I need to know that somewhere in the future lives a Ms. Nilsen with a pure character, with the abundance of creativity and organization and energy and diligence and selflessness and solar system mobiles and management and lesson plans and insight and data and baking soda volcanoes and dedication that will allow my students to experience success every day and maximize their life prospects.
I need to know so I can talk myself into believing it. :)
I give them both to you now 'cause you need them more than me
--a song
(Listen, I'm using the weblog these days mostly to process my response to challenges. Please don't assume they represent my general state of mind. Please?)
First day of July 2007, nearly seven months about arriving in Australia: I found out I'd be training a new missionary, a Fiji Indian Australian. I'd just been abruptly removed from a city-like area I felt like was mine (to replace a missionary who had to go home) to a remote area where I felt very uncomfortable. I overhead a conversation between two people that sounded something like this: "Sister Nilsen is training...that's weird...yeah I didn't expect that either." What?! It was not a supportive conversation and compounded the insecurities I already felt about my preparation to help set the tone for one of the most important experiences of this person's life.
A few days later at the transfer meeting, I cornered a selection of my mission leaders and friends and asked each one "do you believe in me?" I needed to hear from someone that I trusted to tell me that they did so I could use it as material to convince myself to do the same.
June 2009, a new experience with its accompanying insecurities and doubts confronts me: intensive round-the-clock excellent teacher training--the best training in the country, I believe. Teaching 8th grade math at summer school in a high-stakes environment. If these children don't learn from me, they're not going to high school with their classmates next year. Equipping myself to be a competent secondary science teacher in an urban school this fall. I wish I could address in a sentence or two how high the standards are around here.
I need someone I trust to believe in me.
My corps member adviser (CMA, the one who is with a group of 12 of us at school all day, who reviews our lesson plans and teaching) is an absolute priceless gem. I am in awe over his dedication to his students, his powers of expression and articulation, his vibrant personality, his wit, his thoughtfulness, his sense of honor, his moral compass that points fiercely to integrity. The man is unreal. Can you tell he is my newest hero?
Mr. CMA has told a few people that he believes they are going to be great teachers, that he sees great potential in them. He did tell me that TFA doesn't make mistakes in choosing people, but that comment wasn't about me specifically. I know this is selfish, but I need him...or someone who has insight into this experience and into me...to tell me they believe in me and why. I need to know exactly how what TFA and my students need connects with what I have to offer. I need to know that somewhere in the future lives a Ms. Nilsen with a pure character, with the abundance of creativity and organization and energy and diligence and selflessness and solar system mobiles and management and lesson plans and insight and data and baking soda volcanoes and dedication that will allow my students to experience success every day and maximize their life prospects.
I need to know so I can talk myself into believing it. :)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Evidence
Ammon, speaking of his converts: "We can witness of their sincerity, because of their love towards their brethren and also towards us" (Alma 26:31).
Moroni, quoting a letter from his father Mormon: "Wherefore, I would speak unto you that...are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord...I judge these things of you because of your peaceable walk with the children of men" (Moroni 7:3-4).
The quality of your conviction, and even your future, is evident in and expressed by the way you treat others.
Moroni, quoting a letter from his father Mormon: "Wherefore, I would speak unto you that...are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord...I judge these things of you because of your peaceable walk with the children of men" (Moroni 7:3-4).
The quality of your conviction, and even your future, is evident in and expressed by the way you treat others.
Monday, June 8, 2009
it comes to this
[This is a few days old. I need this even more now than I did when I started. It's mostly for myself and is a very limited picture of what is actually a complex new experience.]
Hi. Humor me please. I need to take a few minutes before finishing some work to "remember how merciful..." lest I forget and grow bitter with difficulty. My first day of TFA training--known to us as institute--is nearing an end. It was a hard day with getting up at 5, breakfast in the dining hall at 5:30, being on a yellow school bus at 6:20, and falling asleep for microseconds throughout the sessions today. (I wanted to write a beautifully reflective piece on my induction week--when I met Miami--but I haven't had the wherewithal. I REALLY admire and like TFA as an organization: its integrity, transparency, mission, organization, but that is a serious other entry.)
->I moved into my own austere bedroom in an apartment-style dorm at Georgia Tech last night. I last did that as a freshman in 2002. It's a strange and lonely experience. While I was moving stuff, one of my Bostonian friends called and left a voicemail to say he was just telling someone how wonderful I am. And that he thought I needed to know that. Do you know how perfect that was for that very moment?
->I got an expected letter from Australia today. The beginning says "Every time I read your letters, I just think, 'man, Savanna is so smart and sophisticated.'" The end says I'm a great mate (yes, mate) and that I'm awesome. Thank you, yes.
->We received our summer school assignments today. I'm teaching 8th grade math. The students have to pass a high-stakes exam at the end of these five weeks or they can't progress to high school. This is actually the placement I was hoping for. Some people have half-day reading, half-day math assignments and have to attend extra literacy meetings. I graded some assessments today. Yeah we have a lot of work to do.
->This is a great one. If you had access to my silent prayers yesterday, they may have sounded something like this: "Listen, help? Please? Bank of America is paying for my life. I don't want to be that girl." I found my car in the parking garage of Janna's dad's condo where I left it last week and anticipated paying an $8/day parking charge for 9 days, but the pay machine was broken and the gate was up. Providential? I think yes.
->I've gotten pretty lucky with random roommates lately. My roommate from the hotel in Miami is Allie, who just graduated from Notre Dame. I'd have to say our senses of humor are QUITE compatible. We already have a treasure trove of inside jokes. I actually adore her. We eat most meals together along with the other LDS girl, married Sarah. I'm unaccustomed to having a set group of friends who assume we'll be spending time together, so I'm adjusting to this nice surprise.
->I woke up on Wednesday morning during induction last week with pink eye. It spread to both eyes by the next morning. Much of my experience in Miami was avoiding the people in my corps outside of programming and coating myself with hand sanitizer. They avoided me as well. (I do appreciate that they've acknowledged this--and me--now that I'm no longer a liability.) In the last post I said I don't deal well with transitions. Very true. I also don't deal well with looking ugly. My eyes were red, my face was swollen, I had to wear glasses the whole time and no mascara, and my skin and hair weren't happy either. Actually I've realized my hair will never look nice as long as I'm on the East coast. My point is I am feeling far better with my green-not-pink eyes.
-> The dining hall features unlimited chocolate milk.
->I filled out a personal survey today that asked for something about me not many people would know. I highlighted that in the past few years I have volunteered at the Olympics in Athens, explored war sites in Sarajevo, and introduced myself to shepherds and their flocks of goats on the banks of the Yellow River. I'm so amazed that a person with limited resources could make those things happen, and so thankful for those experiences that are so meaningful to me.
-> Institute is reminiscent sometimes of various uncomfortable yet enjoyable experiences like high school, the dorms, the MTC, but I am about 57,000 times more confident now. I like that about growing up.
OH. People who are in a place that is a lot like the MTC, except more confronting, more uncomfortable, further from home, more foreign, longer, and where you get a lot less sleep, appreciate surprises in the mailbox even more than people in the MTC. Now accepting postcards, love letters, owls, media mail, singing telegrams, affidavits, etc. at this address:
Hi. Humor me please. I need to take a few minutes before finishing some work to "remember how merciful..." lest I forget and grow bitter with difficulty. My first day of TFA training--known to us as institute--is nearing an end. It was a hard day with getting up at 5, breakfast in the dining hall at 5:30, being on a yellow school bus at 6:20, and falling asleep for microseconds throughout the sessions today. (I wanted to write a beautifully reflective piece on my induction week--when I met Miami--but I haven't had the wherewithal. I REALLY admire and like TFA as an organization: its integrity, transparency, mission, organization, but that is a serious other entry.)
->I moved into my own austere bedroom in an apartment-style dorm at Georgia Tech last night. I last did that as a freshman in 2002. It's a strange and lonely experience. While I was moving stuff, one of my Bostonian friends called and left a voicemail to say he was just telling someone how wonderful I am. And that he thought I needed to know that. Do you know how perfect that was for that very moment?
->I got an expected letter from Australia today. The beginning says "Every time I read your letters, I just think, 'man, Savanna is so smart and sophisticated.'" The end says I'm a great mate (yes, mate) and that I'm awesome. Thank you, yes.
->We received our summer school assignments today. I'm teaching 8th grade math. The students have to pass a high-stakes exam at the end of these five weeks or they can't progress to high school. This is actually the placement I was hoping for. Some people have half-day reading, half-day math assignments and have to attend extra literacy meetings. I graded some assessments today. Yeah we have a lot of work to do.
->This is a great one. If you had access to my silent prayers yesterday, they may have sounded something like this: "Listen, help? Please? Bank of America is paying for my life. I don't want to be that girl." I found my car in the parking garage of Janna's dad's condo where I left it last week and anticipated paying an $8/day parking charge for 9 days, but the pay machine was broken and the gate was up. Providential? I think yes.
->I've gotten pretty lucky with random roommates lately. My roommate from the hotel in Miami is Allie, who just graduated from Notre Dame. I'd have to say our senses of humor are QUITE compatible. We already have a treasure trove of inside jokes. I actually adore her. We eat most meals together along with the other LDS girl, married Sarah. I'm unaccustomed to having a set group of friends who assume we'll be spending time together, so I'm adjusting to this nice surprise.
->I woke up on Wednesday morning during induction last week with pink eye. It spread to both eyes by the next morning. Much of my experience in Miami was avoiding the people in my corps outside of programming and coating myself with hand sanitizer. They avoided me as well. (I do appreciate that they've acknowledged this--and me--now that I'm no longer a liability.) In the last post I said I don't deal well with transitions. Very true. I also don't deal well with looking ugly. My eyes were red, my face was swollen, I had to wear glasses the whole time and no mascara, and my skin and hair weren't happy either. Actually I've realized my hair will never look nice as long as I'm on the East coast. My point is I am feeling far better with my green-not-pink eyes.
-> The dining hall features unlimited chocolate milk.
->I filled out a personal survey today that asked for something about me not many people would know. I highlighted that in the past few years I have volunteered at the Olympics in Athens, explored war sites in Sarajevo, and introduced myself to shepherds and their flocks of goats on the banks of the Yellow River. I'm so amazed that a person with limited resources could make those things happen, and so thankful for those experiences that are so meaningful to me.
-> Institute is reminiscent sometimes of various uncomfortable yet enjoyable experiences like high school, the dorms, the MTC, but I am about 57,000 times more confident now. I like that about growing up.
OH. People who are in a place that is a lot like the MTC, except more confronting, more uncomfortable, further from home, more foreign, longer, and where you get a lot less sleep, appreciate surprises in the mailbox even more than people in the MTC. Now accepting postcards, love letters, owls, media mail, singing telegrams, affidavits, etc. at this address:
Friday, May 22, 2009
not ready
I'm feeling lost right now.
I leave home for the airport in about an hour. Once I arrive in Boston at midnight, I pretty much have zero unstructured time until training in Atlanta ends July 11. My week or so at home hasn't been amazing, though we've had some therapeutic and fun times together, and I haven't accomplished everything I needed and wanted to do. And that's fine. But I really resent what I feel right now--isn't leaving the family at home supposed to get easier as I get older and establish a life elsewhere? My sisters and mother (and probably brothers and father, but they haven't vocalized it as much) don't appreciate that I am leaving, not even for this great new job I somehow got. I don't understand where I am supposed to take up shop between loyalty and opportunity.
I'm also scared about leaving the friends I love. I just realized that I define success in my life in part by the relationships I create. I've found that success in unexpected, often rare, places and separating from that graciously bestowed depth of association is painful. I know I'll rebuild in Miami and Atlanta, even though I don't know one person there, but excavating for such friendships is a very deliberate process that takes months.
So, I'll miss you. Yes, you. And you. Keep in touch, because transitions are hard for me. :)
At least Alise is coming with me for the flight back to Boston and the part of the drive that ends in DC. I think I'm done taking important journeys alone.
I leave home for the airport in about an hour. Once I arrive in Boston at midnight, I pretty much have zero unstructured time until training in Atlanta ends July 11. My week or so at home hasn't been amazing, though we've had some therapeutic and fun times together, and I haven't accomplished everything I needed and wanted to do. And that's fine. But I really resent what I feel right now--isn't leaving the family at home supposed to get easier as I get older and establish a life elsewhere? My sisters and mother (and probably brothers and father, but they haven't vocalized it as much) don't appreciate that I am leaving, not even for this great new job I somehow got. I don't understand where I am supposed to take up shop between loyalty and opportunity.
I'm also scared about leaving the friends I love. I just realized that I define success in my life in part by the relationships I create. I've found that success in unexpected, often rare, places and separating from that graciously bestowed depth of association is painful. I know I'll rebuild in Miami and Atlanta, even though I don't know one person there, but excavating for such friendships is a very deliberate process that takes months.
So, I'll miss you. Yes, you. And you. Keep in touch, because transitions are hard for me. :)
At least Alise is coming with me for the flight back to Boston and the part of the drive that ends in DC. I think I'm done taking important journeys alone.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
fortune telling à la Google Maps
As part of my job, I have to send people applications. I get their addresses from a voicemail they leave me. Sometimes I use Google Maps to verify an address I don't understand and I have found that it doubles as an eerily reliable predictor of the future.
This is a section of Boston that I happened upon just a few days after I found out I was moving to Florida and that I would belong to the Orlando temple district. Please note Colorado and Orlando running parallel to each other and Savannah proficiently negotiating the balance between them. Agile, isn't she? Tennis, the sport I played through four years at Skyline, happily tags along.
View Larger Map
Also, I have a list of about 6 or 8 names that I like for future little people. I found streets with 3 (!) of them in a momentous, cautious dance in a town near the cape of Massachusetts. They're the streets starting with J, A, and E. (Ew! No! Not Acushnet, the other A street that is also the beautiful name of a city in Australia I've never seen. I have a city name so I think one of the little people must have a city name as well.)(E seems to like to hide behind that persistent flag asking if you want directions. You can move the map around a little to find it. [Yay! I figured out how to embed stuff. I have a future in manipulating technology.])
View Larger Map
This is a section of Boston that I happened upon just a few days after I found out I was moving to Florida and that I would belong to the Orlando temple district. Please note Colorado and Orlando running parallel to each other and Savannah proficiently negotiating the balance between them. Agile, isn't she? Tennis, the sport I played through four years at Skyline, happily tags along.
View Larger Map
Also, I have a list of about 6 or 8 names that I like for future little people. I found streets with 3 (!) of them in a momentous, cautious dance in a town near the cape of Massachusetts. They're the streets starting with J, A, and E. (Ew! No! Not Acushnet, the other A street that is also the beautiful name of a city in Australia I've never seen. I have a city name so I think one of the little people must have a city name as well.)(E seems to like to hide behind that persistent flag asking if you want directions. You can move the map around a little to find it. [Yay! I figured out how to embed stuff. I have a future in manipulating technology.])
View Larger Map
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I thought I'd temper my last post with a compelling question
I'm not sure whether it is legal to post the article text so here is the link.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102778066
Michel's question is near the end: How does one negotiate over right and wrong?
I was hoping she would do a follow up but she hasn't yet.
"Gay Marriage Debate Riddled with Bad Assumptions"
by Michel Martin, NPR, Can I Just Tell You?, Tell Me More, 6 April 2009
(I'm an NPR addict)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102778066
Michel's question is near the end: How does one negotiate over right and wrong?
I was hoping she would do a follow up but she hasn't yet.
"Gay Marriage Debate Riddled with Bad Assumptions"
by Michel Martin, NPR, Can I Just Tell You?, Tell Me More, 6 April 2009
(I'm an NPR addict)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
shopping!?
also i have access to a 30% discount for purchases at gap/oldnavy/bananarepublic good from march 12-15. it's also a fundraiser for nonprofits. my nonprofit of choice is tfa.
here's the link.
here's the link.
and then I cried at the library
I was right...and I'll tell you about it if you call me.
Exceptions made only if you live in another country, and even then...
:)
Exceptions made only if you live in another country, and even then...
:)
do detective genes run in the family?
because my grandfather was a detective.
some big news is en route with an arrival time for sometime in the next 3.75 hours. i have not received the email, nor is the notification on the website yet, but i did check the funding page and they've already awarded me some grants and loans. so either they have a mistake in their website and accidentally let people see ahead of time OR they waste resources calculating financial aid for people who might not be accepted.
some big news is en route with an arrival time for sometime in the next 3.75 hours. i have not received the email, nor is the notification on the website yet, but i did check the funding page and they've already awarded me some grants and loans. so either they have a mistake in their website and accidentally let people see ahead of time OR they waste resources calculating financial aid for people who might not be accepted.
Monday, February 2, 2009
concession to opportunity
I'd been trying to finish this for a couple of months now...
I'm checking all the locks
and these keys are made of wood
all the pieces people give me
just aren't working like they should
Spinning closed, the doors
take no pain to apologize
though one gaping door remains
I'm not ready for goodbye
I step with blinded heart
a reluctant, lone escape
and commence down unlit stair
not convinced I'll find my way
Risking backward glance
I can see this wasn't mine
merely salt in pillars stacked
imitating my designs
I turn ahead to scale
a staircase wide enough for one
and in wonder ponder all
such expeditions I've begun
Interrupts spiral descent
Light so gentle yet so bold
watch, in mercy it concedes,
bends to turn these keys to gold
Now ringing in my grasp
tokens polished and so pure
keys once wooden but since changed
open thresholds to explore
I'm checking all the locks
and these keys are made of wood
all the pieces people give me
just aren't working like they should
Spinning closed, the doors
take no pain to apologize
though one gaping door remains
I'm not ready for goodbye
I step with blinded heart
a reluctant, lone escape
and commence down unlit stair
not convinced I'll find my way
Risking backward glance
I can see this wasn't mine
merely salt in pillars stacked
imitating my designs
I turn ahead to scale
a staircase wide enough for one
and in wonder ponder all
such expeditions I've begun
Interrupts spiral descent
Light so gentle yet so bold
watch, in mercy it concedes,
bends to turn these keys to gold
Now ringing in my grasp
tokens polished and so pure
keys once wooden but since changed
open thresholds to explore
Thursday, January 29, 2009
101 becomes a smattering
This is my 101st published post, but that will change once I execute plans to finish some drafts and publish my mission emails. No giveaway (sorry Kristi, your idea is brilliant and I'll let it belong to you).
I have some assorted things to say.
1. I saw the sun today!
2. I am wearing a pair of black pointy dress shoes that look alike but do not match. Having learned yesterday's lesson, I chose rain boots instead of soppy warm boots for the trek through the slush. Into the purse went a pair of unfaithful shoes to change into for the workday. Shoe monogamy in my closet will hereafter be undermined. You give them an inch...
3. I no longer have a 3-year-old brother. Today I have a four-year-old brother. Life's like an hourglass glued to the table...
4. For anyone (which may be no one but me) who has spent any amount of time pondering the contradictions native to expressions of political affiliation among members of the LDS Church, as well as related historical trends, I post this link on community life from the LDS Newsroom.
I have some assorted things to say.
1. I saw the sun today!
2. I am wearing a pair of black pointy dress shoes that look alike but do not match. Having learned yesterday's lesson, I chose rain boots instead of soppy warm boots for the trek through the slush. Into the purse went a pair of unfaithful shoes to change into for the workday. Shoe monogamy in my closet will hereafter be undermined. You give them an inch...
3. I no longer have a 3-year-old brother. Today I have a four-year-old brother. Life's like an hourglass glued to the table...
4. For anyone (which may be no one but me) who has spent any amount of time pondering the contradictions native to expressions of political affiliation among members of the LDS Church, as well as related historical trends, I post this link on community life from the LDS Newsroom.
Monday, January 26, 2009
little update
1. I just saw that the check for my visa application just cleared. Yesss! Time to put your flight-to-China care packages together. (What do I need to bring? Hand sanitizer? Packets of tissue/toilet paper? Guide book? Pepto bismol caplets or Tums? Hard candies to supplement the rice-and-vegetables diet? Oh yeah, and photos of family and friends.)
Just FYI, I paid for the flight with five years' careful savings of frequent flier miles. I'm not recklessly spending money I don't have. :)
2. I made a decision about where to go. I am verrrry sure about it. I'm not going to announce it right now.
Just FYI, I paid for the flight with five years' careful savings of frequent flier miles. I'm not recklessly spending money I don't have. :)
2. I made a decision about where to go. I am verrrry sure about it. I'm not going to announce it right now.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
..u.n.s.e.t.t.l.e.d..
I hereby solicit your comments!!!! (Read: help me!!!!) Information I can't get online which you might be able to give me:
I have an important choice to make, and I don't know how to make it, and I don't know how to choose without any experience with the places or this kind of choice and I am on edge and yelling at the phone whenever it rings (I'm playing receptionist today) because it interrupts my thoughts. This coming Monday I have to rank my preferences for where I want to teach if I get accepted to TfA. I think my first choice is DC: I've always wanted to live there, so why not now?; there I have connections and extended family, good friends, a temple; and lest we forget, it is the seat of our national government and so stirs my passions more than anything possibly could. But I want to be prepared with other preferences.
Factors most important to me: the character of the place (whether urban/diversity/charm/community feel), a temple nearby, leadership opportunities, the presence of close friends, a YSA and church scene. Basically I want a place to belong. A shoreline is a huge deal too.
All of these places sing to me. Here's what is attracting me so far, and keep in mind that I am most interested in educational leadership and policy, not teaching, as an eventual career. From the TFA website:
New York City: HUGE professional development opportunities
Chancellor Klein has called upon Teach For America alumni to take on even greater school leadership roles, including helping to fill some of the several hundred projected principal vacancies in the coming years. Many Teach For America alumni have assumed leadership roles at all levels of the school system — from leading traditional public schools and starting public charter schools, to assuming administrative roles within the Department of Education. Currently, over 100 Teach For America alumni serve as superintendents, principals, assistant principals, and principals-in-training in New York City, and many more serve in key leadership roles in district offices. 58% of placements are in secondary schools. Average Beginning New York City Teacher Salary: $45,530
Connecticut: close to Boston (you're my home); low barriers to teaching
Life in Connecticut offers corps members both the excitement and vibrancy of a metropolitan area and the distinct pleasures of small-town New England (I don't want to leave New England!!!). The benefits of small-city living also include many opportunities to become deeply involved in our communities; corps members serve on district and city committees, join non-profit boards, participate in local politics and quickly become significant leaders in the reform movements in the region. Being a part of the Connecticut education system right now is very special. TfA Connecticut is a state-approved Alternate Route to Certification (meaning I don't have to get a Master's degree in teaching, ew). All Connecticut corps members are required to either pass the PRAXIS I series in reading, writing and mathematics or secure a waiver if they received a score that was an 1100 or higher on the SAT or 22 or higher on the ACT (apparently I pass the PRAXIS already if I go to CT, big bonus). Beginning Teacher Salary: around $40,000.
Charlotte: doesn't the Queen City sound like an appropriate place for me? Sounds like a BRILLIANT quality of life.
Charlotte uniquely blends both urban and rural aspects of Northern and Southern living. (Wow! A collision of all wonderful things!) In 2008, a four million dollar gift enabled Charlotte to nearly double the size of its corps, becoming Teach For America’s second fastest growing region. Money magazine recently rated Charlotte one of the top ten places to live in America. All licensure courses at UNCC are available at no cost to the corps members (!!!!!!!!!!). Beginning Teacher Salary: $34,386
Jacksonville: opportunity to build community; low barrier to teaching because I don't have to be professionally certified; goodbye winter
There will be numerous chances for new Jacksonville corps members to assume corps leadership positions in the region's second year. Recent charter corps members have valued the unique experience of leading Teach For America's movement in a new area of the country. Forbes magazine often ranks this southern hub as of one of the top 10 cities to relocate to and find a job. Water sports at award winning beaches. The Jacksonville community—including prominent district, community, and business leaders—welcomes corps members and is vocal about its support of Teach For America. In addition to building partnerships with the school and community leaders (networking and building relationships is what I do best), *Something wonderful about Florida is I don't need to be certified to teach) Beginning Teacher Salary: $37,000
Miami: Adventuresome; pretty much Caribbean; confronting; I bet I can learn Spanish
Miami-Dade is a community where over 40 percent of the population earns less than $18,000 a year. Such contrasts define the Miami-Dade school system as well,
Upon moving to Miami-Dade, corps members quickly witness the incredible range of opportunities available for them to embrace and take on – from immersing themselves in the culture of Little Haiti to exploring the treasures of the everglades and the agricultural lifestyle of South Dade, to identifying the Caribbean and Latin influence in the dining and arts worlds. In Miami-Dade, corps members are immersed in an incredibly rich, vibrant community and in turn become catalysts for a powerful change in the academic prospects of their students. (This actually sounds REALLY cool) The Miami-Dade County Public School System (M-DCPS) is the country's fourth largest. A free certification program offered through M-DCPS. In addition, corps members interested in school leadership are able to enroll in a master's degree program at Florida International University and follow a track leading to administrator certification (This is what I want to do anyway, but I was thinking I'd do it at Harvard or another top 10 school.) Beginning Teacher Salary: $38,000
Chicago: I just like it
Chicago has long been a leading source of American innovation. During the warm months, Chicagoans are rarely inside. Over the next five years, the size of the Chicago corps is expected to double — further increasing our impact in Chicago. I LOVE Chicago and my anima gemella (soulmate) best friend Shove lives there...but she lives with a guy so we can't be roommates. The danger is the possibility of being placed in Gary, Indiana.
Baton Rouge: COMMUNITY and a new culture and close to New Orleans and oh-so-needy
Despite being a city of 750,000 people, Baton Rouge is a city of neighborhoods – and no matter where you choose to live during your time here, you will be a part of a neighborhood culture unique among all the others. Life in South Louisiana is not life in one of the major American cities – and that is one of its strengths. While Baton Rouge is large enough to offer city-style conveniences, you can still take comfort in the fact that the environment is friendly and personable. The time it takes to travel across town is not only manageable, but if you have a bike it’s 30 minutes. As fierce as the pride is in South Louisiana communities, it never acts as a barrier to newcomers. In fact, South Louisianans are so proud of their towns and culture that they are eager to bring you in and share their recipes, their church pews, and their latest crop of sweet potatoes (this is so sweet!). Enter a South Louisiana community, and you are immediately not merely a neighbor, but a member of the family. Just days after moving in, expect phone calls, notes, or care packages. In the blistering heat or blustery storms, expect check-ins from “parents” around town. South Louisiana is desperate, but never depressed. Its people and its culture exude hope, happiness, and ease of life. Corps members in South Louisiana form fierce friendships. The contagious porch-culture affects even the non-natives who join us here. Many corps members hold leadership roles at their schools. Some continue working in their communities after the two years as teachers and school leaders, as students in the numerous graduate programs, as leaders at local nonprofit organizations, think tanks, universities, and businesses.
Washington DC: Savanna's obvious choice; More risk of small fish-big pond; lots of like-minded young Mormons :)
One of the most vibrant metropolitan areas in the country, the D.C. Region retains a Southern charm and offers its own intellectual stimulation, social activities, and incredibly diverse population. D.C. Region corps members serve mainly in two large school districts; the District of Columbia Public Schools and Prince George’s County Public Schools
If you really read all this, I think you get a prize (conditional upon your granting me advice). Give me your address! :)
- Strength of the Church, most particularly YSA/Institute
- Where you, with outside perspective, think I could be happiest
I have an important choice to make, and I don't know how to make it, and I don't know how to choose without any experience with the places or this kind of choice and I am on edge and yelling at the phone whenever it rings (I'm playing receptionist today) because it interrupts my thoughts. This coming Monday I have to rank my preferences for where I want to teach if I get accepted to TfA. I think my first choice is DC: I've always wanted to live there, so why not now?; there I have connections and extended family, good friends, a temple; and lest we forget, it is the seat of our national government and so stirs my passions more than anything possibly could. But I want to be prepared with other preferences.
Factors most important to me: the character of the place (whether urban/diversity/charm/community feel), a temple nearby, leadership opportunities, the presence of close friends, a YSA and church scene. Basically I want a place to belong. A shoreline is a huge deal too.
All of these places sing to me. Here's what is attracting me so far, and keep in mind that I am most interested in educational leadership and policy, not teaching, as an eventual career. From the TFA website:
New York City: HUGE professional development opportunities
Chancellor Klein has called upon Teach For America alumni to take on even greater school leadership roles, including helping to fill some of the several hundred projected principal vacancies in the coming years. Many Teach For America alumni have assumed leadership roles at all levels of the school system — from leading traditional public schools and starting public charter schools, to assuming administrative roles within the Department of Education. Currently, over 100 Teach For America alumni serve as superintendents, principals, assistant principals, and principals-in-training in New York City, and many more serve in key leadership roles in district offices. 58% of placements are in secondary schools. Average Beginning New York City Teacher Salary: $45,530
Connecticut: close to Boston (you're my home); low barriers to teaching
Life in Connecticut offers corps members both the excitement and vibrancy of a metropolitan area and the distinct pleasures of small-town New England (I don't want to leave New England!!!). The benefits of small-city living also include many opportunities to become deeply involved in our communities; corps members serve on district and city committees, join non-profit boards, participate in local politics and quickly become significant leaders in the reform movements in the region. Being a part of the Connecticut education system right now is very special. TfA Connecticut is a state-approved Alternate Route to Certification (meaning I don't have to get a Master's degree in teaching, ew). All Connecticut corps members are required to either pass the PRAXIS I series in reading, writing and mathematics or secure a waiver if they received a score that was an 1100 or higher on the SAT or 22 or higher on the ACT (apparently I pass the PRAXIS already if I go to CT, big bonus). Beginning Teacher Salary: around $40,000.
Charlotte: doesn't the Queen City sound like an appropriate place for me? Sounds like a BRILLIANT quality of life.
Charlotte uniquely blends both urban and rural aspects of Northern and Southern living. (Wow! A collision of all wonderful things!) In 2008, a four million dollar gift enabled Charlotte to nearly double the size of its corps, becoming Teach For America’s second fastest growing region. Money magazine recently rated Charlotte one of the top ten places to live in America. All licensure courses at UNCC are available at no cost to the corps members (!!!!!!!!!!). Beginning Teacher Salary: $34,386
Jacksonville: opportunity to build community; low barrier to teaching because I don't have to be professionally certified; goodbye winter
There will be numerous chances for new Jacksonville corps members to assume corps leadership positions in the region's second year. Recent charter corps members have valued the unique experience of leading Teach For America's movement in a new area of the country. Forbes magazine often ranks this southern hub as of one of the top 10 cities to relocate to and find a job. Water sports at award winning beaches. The Jacksonville community—including prominent district, community, and business leaders—welcomes corps members and is vocal about its support of Teach For America. In addition to building partnerships with the school and community leaders (networking and building relationships is what I do best), *Something wonderful about Florida is I don't need to be certified to teach) Beginning Teacher Salary: $37,000
Miami: Adventuresome; pretty much Caribbean; confronting; I bet I can learn Spanish
Miami-Dade is a community where over 40 percent of the population earns less than $18,000 a year. Such contrasts define the Miami-Dade school system as well,
Upon moving to Miami-Dade, corps members quickly witness the incredible range of opportunities available for them to embrace and take on – from immersing themselves in the culture of Little Haiti to exploring the treasures of the everglades and the agricultural lifestyle of South Dade, to identifying the Caribbean and Latin influence in the dining and arts worlds. In Miami-Dade, corps members are immersed in an incredibly rich, vibrant community and in turn become catalysts for a powerful change in the academic prospects of their students. (This actually sounds REALLY cool) The Miami-Dade County Public School System (M-DCPS) is the country's fourth largest. A free certification program offered through M-DCPS. In addition, corps members interested in school leadership are able to enroll in a master's degree program at Florida International University and follow a track leading to administrator certification (This is what I want to do anyway, but I was thinking I'd do it at Harvard or another top 10 school.) Beginning Teacher Salary: $38,000
Chicago: I just like it
Chicago has long been a leading source of American innovation. During the warm months, Chicagoans are rarely inside. Over the next five years, the size of the Chicago corps is expected to double — further increasing our impact in Chicago. I LOVE Chicago and my anima gemella (soulmate) best friend Shove lives there...but she lives with a guy so we can't be roommates. The danger is the possibility of being placed in Gary, Indiana.
Baton Rouge: COMMUNITY and a new culture and close to New Orleans and oh-so-needy
Despite being a city of 750,000 people, Baton Rouge is a city of neighborhoods – and no matter where you choose to live during your time here, you will be a part of a neighborhood culture unique among all the others. Life in South Louisiana is not life in one of the major American cities – and that is one of its strengths. While Baton Rouge is large enough to offer city-style conveniences, you can still take comfort in the fact that the environment is friendly and personable. The time it takes to travel across town is not only manageable, but if you have a bike it’s 30 minutes. As fierce as the pride is in South Louisiana communities, it never acts as a barrier to newcomers. In fact, South Louisianans are so proud of their towns and culture that they are eager to bring you in and share their recipes, their church pews, and their latest crop of sweet potatoes (this is so sweet!). Enter a South Louisiana community, and you are immediately not merely a neighbor, but a member of the family. Just days after moving in, expect phone calls, notes, or care packages. In the blistering heat or blustery storms, expect check-ins from “parents” around town. South Louisiana is desperate, but never depressed. Its people and its culture exude hope, happiness, and ease of life. Corps members in South Louisiana form fierce friendships. The contagious porch-culture affects even the non-natives who join us here. Many corps members hold leadership roles at their schools. Some continue working in their communities after the two years as teachers and school leaders, as students in the numerous graduate programs, as leaders at local nonprofit organizations, think tanks, universities, and businesses.
Washington DC: Savanna's obvious choice; More risk of small fish-big pond; lots of like-minded young Mormons :)
One of the most vibrant metropolitan areas in the country, the D.C. Region retains a Southern charm and offers its own intellectual stimulation, social activities, and incredibly diverse population. D.C. Region corps members serve mainly in two large school districts; the District of Columbia Public Schools and Prince George’s County Public Schools
If you really read all this, I think you get a prize (conditional upon your granting me advice). Give me your address! :)
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