Hello from tomorrow (across the international date line)

Dear dear dear family and extended audience,

I am trying to decide whether last week happened a year ago or just seven days ago. Oh my my.

Hey, anyone who sends me an email, send me a physical return address. I want to send you a letter. Ahem, Jaime ;) I can write back only to my dear beloved family.

ZONE CONFERENCE was last Thursday. It was lovely, as they say. The zone leaders, President, and the assistants reenacted the creation of the title of liberty, except as applied to the Australia Melbourne mission. Can you imagine, these missionaries throwing off their suit jackets and ripping off their white shirts, buttons flying (and I'm sitting in the front row), and hoisting them on curtain rods or tree poles. They had other shirts on underneath, don't worry. Next, the mission leaders decided that we needed to learn to trust each other so we had to fall...voluntarily...backwards...off of tables they placed on the stage in the gym. And the stage wasn't high enough? The missionaries on the floor caught each person as they fell.  I admit I was frightened. THEN... have you ever explored a eucalyptus jungle before? No? Oh, that's too bad. As zones we climbed "The Thousand Steps" in the Dandenongs (Google it), all holding a rope, again working together. My zone is miracle makin' Maroondah. This was my first jungle experience, something that honestly I have daydreamed about, except I thought it would have been in Brazil. Okay it wasn't quite a jungle, but almost. Those are all the highlights of a kind of zone conference that will never happen again. It was all the zones of the mission, even the zone that's "out bush" (in the outback). Usually they don't come.

My friends in Provo, and then at the MTC, always laugh at me because I "know everyone" and that continues even here. When my companion lived in Singapore, she knew and went to the home of one of our family friends (Heejay, howdoyaspell it, Wylie), and I once knew Elder Hyatt's brother, and I know Elder Kariya's sister. It's called networking, ha.

We taught a Pentecostal lady last week. I said the opening prayer and I was nervous she was going to join in with me. I don't understand why she wants us to keep teaching her because she's so insistent on everything being wrong. She prayed to know the Book of Mormon is true and apparently she got a no, but she didn't even open it first to learn what it is...it doesn't work that way :) But she loves us and wants us to come back every week. Then I don't understand what my role is with this Indian Sikh family. The ways of God are mysterious. Yes. Sonia, the 14-year old daughter, came to the live nativity on Sunday and one of her school friends was there.

This is a good story, Sister Wang and I were on bikes Monday riding to Knox City. We were halfway there when she got the idea to go visit Pujitha (PJ)...he wasn't home but we stopped by the home of this other guy we had kind of decided to drop the previous evening. He was home and we taught him the Plan of Salvation and the Gospel of Jesus Christ lessons, and he was quite interested in the doctrine of repentance. It was so sweet--he asked me so sincerely whether Jesus really would forgive him of the things he's done in the past. I had been kind of craving to see an investigator ask me trusting questions. He set a baptism date with us. Last night, however, he called to say the Navy had called him up to begin training this weekend. We'll fight for him.

Yesterday was the weirdest day of my life, or at least of my mission. We got our first media referral in 5 months (when someone sees one of our commercials on television and calls to request a book of video) so we went to the neighborhood to deliver the item. He wasn't there, so we knocked on some doors. We found a lady who didn't want help carrying in her boxes and boxes of soda cans, a proclaimed and devoted atheist (which is normal), an old man who kept saying "you're wasting your time! You're wasting your time!" (affari miei), a lady on oxygen who when asked how she's doing said "not good" and we asked if she's okay and she said "yes." What? Then we knocked on this door and the lady who answered said "I just lost my husband..." Sister Wang is the only one of the two who can see her and she's saying but... but... not really getting anything out. She closed the door and I'm just heartbroken for this woman, so we wrote her a note to leave in her mailbox. As we stand in her driveway, I'm writing, and crying, saying God's plan is for families to be together forever, and we know her husband is precious to her, and that God sorrows when she sorrows. Then we discover we were on the wrong street, and go to deliver the stuff to Damien Silver, except he hadn't even requested it, and "doesn't care" if God exists, and I tell him kinda sassy that maybe he doesn't think about God but God thinks about him ALL THE TIME, and then we visit this girl who got baptized a couple weeks ago, and everyone in her house is making fun of the missionaries, but we can tell they love us, and this 19-year old girl is pulling on her cigarette in front of me saying "don't tell Elder Jensen [who baptized her] that I smoke" and demanding that he goes to visit her. Then we go street contacting, and speak with this crazy old bus driver who says "ARE YOU AMERICAN? WHY DON'T YOU STAY IN AMERICA? GO TO YOUR OWN FIRST. GO TO THE POOR AND NEEDY. THEY NEED YOU THERE WHERE HURRICANE KATRINA HAPPENED. THERE ARE NO POOR HERE. GO TO PAPUA NEW GUINEA AND HELP THE BLACK PEOPLE. THIS IS A SOFT OPTION. YOU'RE ON HOLIDAY IN AUSTRALIA. HOLIDAY!!!" Oh my. Then: "JOSEPH SMITH? THE GERMANS IN 1930 THOUGHT HITLER WAS A GOD. HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S NOT ANOTHER HITLER?" Then when asked what he believes happens to us when we die: "I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE HUMAN RACE IS GOING. IN 300 MILLION YEARS ALL THE STARS YOU SEE IN THE SKY WILL BE POPULATED BY HUMANS. WE CAME FROM FISHES AND MONKEYS AND WE WILL CONTINUE ONLY AS BITS OF DNA, GOING OFF TO THE STARS." But then as we finished and left he thanked us for a good conversation and promised to read the pamphlet. I wrote in caps because he was standing above us in the bus yelling down at us. Then we went to see my favorite, Gary, and he tells us how he hates marriage. After dinner we sang a Christmas carol to the neighbors of those who treated us, and they tried to give us money. Such a weird day. :)

Fires are burning out in the bush so there's smoke everywhere. People are too busy for us, it being the Christmas season, so we aren't having too much success or appointments. This afternoon, it's preparation day, but we're going to go and try to rescue Chris.

I read somewhere recently that the ability to weep is a spiritual gift. I haven't been crying really at all but it really is heartbreaking, and I want to as soon as someone closes a door in front of you and they won't open their eyes to the beauty that you know.

Dad--say hi to Weston for me! Remind him that he owes me a letter. I will be calling the family on Christmas, but I don't know whether that means on my Christmas or yours. It might be Christmas Eve for you. Sorry we haven't worked out any details yet. But keep your cell phones on in case I have to call at a weird time or in case no one is home. Jeremia is SMART! That's so cute that he tried to put the star back in the sky. Congrats on the new ordination.

Rebooka--congratulations on being the first of my friends to get me a letter while I'm in Australia. At Zone Conference the office elders lined up everyone's mail and amidst the wreckage of everyone's Christmas packages and letters, there was your sweet note, smiling at me like an old friend. :)

Spence--roger that. Ha, I gotta go.

Love you every one,
and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Read 3 Nephi 11.
Savanna

all the blood is rushing to my head!!!!!

...because I am walking around on the opposite side of the world!

G'day, as they say, to Mom, Dad, Celeste, Crystal, Alise, Kyle and of course Jeremia. So much is happening! First of all, my companion is Sister Wang from Xi'An, China. I'm in a suburb of Melbourne called Wantirna. It's quite beautiful here. The vegetation reminds me of southern California. The weather is PURRRRFECT. It's not humid at all today and it's sunny. Now that I pay attention, though, I think I can feel my skin getting eaten away by the sun--the hole in the ozone layer is right over me. I live in a house with another set of sisters--Sister Ansley from New Zealand and Sister Erickson from...um...Layton. The house is spacious and bright and sunny and clean and we have a selection of palm trees. Right now I'm at a library, which is in a shopping mall. Kmart and Target are also in the mall, as well as what seems like millions of people. Oh yeah and my house is just a few minutes away from the chapel and the TEMPLE.

Big announcement: I HAVE BEEN DRIVING ALL DAY ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!! I was terrified of the chance that I would have to drive, but everyone reassured me that I wouldn't need to for a few months...ha! My companion doesn't have her license so I have to drive everywhere!!!! We haven't had too many terrifying moments in the hour or so that I have been on the road. But every time I go to use the turn signal I turn on the windshield (windscreen?) wiper and when I turn right Sister Wang cries out on fear because I'm headed into oncoming traffic. (Well, I've turned onto the wrong side but not into traffic yet.) This terror will only occur every other day; we share the car with the other set of sisters. The other days we get bikes. Which may or may not be as dangerous.

I had my first real teaching experience this morning. We have an investigator named Lisa and I think she'll just get baptised. Convenient for me, yes? We went over to read the Book of Mormon with her because she said she hasn't felt the Spirit while reading it and that it doesn't resonate with her. I asked her what her concerns are and one of them was that she doesn't get how the House of Israel has anything to do with her and why is this an old record for contemporary times. Fast forward as we continue through the lesson: akjhailwrhh lka ncvi kjnv.,a iwury toqiejrf,... okay so I get this idea. I say to her: Lisa--did you know that when we are baptised we are adopted into the House of Israel? By the covenant that Abraham made we are received into the House of Israel... and wow you should have seen her eyes ignite as she told me "well that brings a new light into this..." or something to that effect. I'm excited. This area has had, what, one baptism this entire year. BUT I have realized that what we're up to is NOT trying to convince people that they want this. It's a huge deal. It is finding those that do want it. Those that are ready. For that reason you can't get discouraged when someone doesn't want to listen; we weren't looking for them on this last great rescue mission. It's like the most important treasure hunt I've ever embarked upon. My first name isn't on this little badge of mine because it's not me that these people reject when they choose not to listen. It's interesting to stand in a crowd of people that you have responsibility for and just love them and ache for them to listen to you but realize that you probably won't get the chance to ever say anything.

The journey across the Pacific Ocean. I heard one of the assistants yesterday say that the MTC is like fairyland and then you get thrown into this real stuff. It's kinda true. Anyway I came over here with three Elders from my MTC district. It was a nice one last hurrah. All 10 of us became verrrrrrry close in Provo. I have designated a Mission Best Friend--one who is close enough to understand what's going on but removed enough to talk to--and that is Elder Brent Lamkin, a convert of nearly two years who I'm reasonably sure has moved a mountain or two with his faith. My companion, like him, joined 2 years ago in January. Coincidence? I have much to learn from these people. LAX was possibly the craziest place I have ever been. Just picture the international terminal: Lines and lines and lines and clusters of people queued (heh) up to fly to Malaysia, Singapore, Korea, India. We survived that and completed the second leg of our 22-hour or more commitment to fly to Australia. We were all so nervous. I made this tradition in the MTC of saying "we're going to Australia!" all the time and the Elders found that the most convenient time to repeat that. What an adventure. It's funny how real going on a mission is and how I didn't understand that before. Elder Verdonk went with another Canadian out to the bush (outback! kangaroos! platypi?) and Elder Lamkin and Elder Richards to suburbs somewhere. I am so so so so excited for them. It's been so fun watching them become missionaries.

As soon as our plane arrived, we waited for the missionaries to arrive from the New Zealand MTC and they whisked us off to foreign and exciting destinations like the bank and the mission office. I was a grumpyface: all I wanted to do was change my clothes and eat a sandwich but they kept making us do allllllllll this stuff. We had some lunch and met the trainers and brought us to a train station/commercial area to do some "GQing": street contacting I guess. Which means slam poor lost searching souls with a 30-second message of the Restoration. It's really cool actually, both to see peoples' reactions to such boldness, and to talk to people and see the inner questions that have been burning. Australians are way friendly. More than Americans, even, in the stores--what!? That's what I've noticed so far anyway. A 24-hour observation. If they don't want to listen to you they'll just tell you, but kinda friendly-like, and suggest that you go tell someone else.

Mm, so much to write but I'd better go. Being here is BEE.YOU.TEA.FULL. I couldn't be more happy that I am NOT in Russia, or Indonesia, or Denmark (those of you who know me well will recognize a change of heart) and that yesterday at Ringwood (GQing) I had my language and my personality as a resource. I love English, even just looking at it. As we drove away from the airport, past the city, and toward my new home it really didn't matter where I was, just that I have something intriguing and fascinating and engaging and powerful to do here. Being around other missionaries is sacred. I can't get enough. We have so much power given to us to be agents of the Lord Jesus Christ...talking about these things to strangers and to others like me as well has become so much easier and natural because right now it's the only thing that matters. Email me...I'll check it usually on Wednesdays. I'm getting pictures printed so I'll send them out next week.

I have so much more I wanted to say but this will do for now.
Ciao!!!!!
All my love,
Savanna
(more commonly known as Sister Nilsen these days.)

PS Some missionaries work on their Australian accents but I have realised that I want to try and keep mine. Ha, we'll see.

on returning home

work in progress

e' sempre miracolo tornare a casa. a prendere quell'ultimo treno, salire in aereo per fare l'ultima gamba, accendere il moto della macchina. non importa chi viene ad incontrarci o quando, il sollievo sempre segue il momento in cui si nota il sentimento di stare senza movimentato. nel quale momento una parte del viaggio sparisce, dimenticata, cedendo il suo piacere a quello in cui si ricorda invece il sentimento di stare dove s'appartiene. al momento di tornar a casa non c'e' un altrove.

non valgo niente meno a te

from a more melancholy day :) and who knows if it's understandable, but hey, it's not understandable even when i write english.

di rimpianti ce ne sono troppi
percio' torno
a provo
a provare
a cercare di rinnovare
per la volta finale
questa vita di studiare
...di diventare
ma questa volta temo di andarci
poiche' la mia scuola sara' vuota
avro' come compagni
il libro
la palestra
il pianoforte
non avro' l'amicizia profonda
che mi [frase non mai finita]
quest'amicizia e' andata via lontana.
si e' diffusa
si trova adesso in posti vari
newdelhi.tallahassee.sanfrancisco.arizona.russia.losangeles.boston.
e anche sotto la terra, tranquilla,
affamata o consummata
in doveri nuovi di famiglia, o nel buio del cuore.
non verra' mai recuperata. non mi sara' mai piu' accanta.
e quindi
sono rimasta con questi
volti indimenticabili
ombre
legami amari
che non mi lasciano andare avanti, libera.
senza di essi sono debole
perche' mi hanno colpita
o, colpita sono.
ma mi consolo:
so che questa vita
non e' da trascorrere da soli.
questo lo so.
ce ne saranno altri
che vanno e vengono
che rimangono un po'.
ma nel frattempo
soffro la ingiustizia di distanza
sento la grossa mancanza
di un momento passato
in compagnia di un qualcuno
che non era un qualcuno qualsiasi
ma che adesso non c'e'.
il qualcuno non c'e'
(il qualcuno dov'e'?)
(il qualcuno lo sei?)
(il qualcuno chi e'?)
non finito.

NON CI VOGLIO ANDARE PIU'!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY CAN'T I BE IN ALL THE PLACES I WANT TO BE AT THE SAME TIME????????????????????????????????????????????????????'

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. SONO ADDOLORATA!!!!!!!!!!

happy day of the republic to italy by the way.

denver in 4 days

i'm too nervous!!!!! (think teen girl squad)

... and she sticks her head in the sand.

i leave for paris in three hours! well i leave for the train for the airport in three hours! i am so nervous... i have never been to a huge city alone before, and i am worried about not making the train connection to the airport, and about arriving at midnight, and about whether my hostel "reservation" really exists, and about my backpack that is too small for all my stuff so i have to sneak on an extra carry-on--a plastic bag with some clothes. and for what i should do in the next few weeks... paris and normandy for sure, and lake como with this very nice kid, and tuscany with shawna... but bern for the temple? and sicilia or puglia--which one? and do i have a ride to the airport? plus i have to go home right now and clean the apartment and i am worried that i won't get enough done to really help shawna out... geez. okay i have to go, off to paris!

votre chere :)

savanna

a blank subject line is an invalid subject line.

awwww, i just got out of a little party that my first-years threw for me. man, they ate the treats fast. shawna's been saying she's going to cry tomorrow when she says goodbye but i've been like noooo... i probably won't. and not that i did but i feel closer to it than before :) they were so cute, they all pulled out their fancy camera phones and took photos of me as i left. the end. the end? geez.

camouflage handwriting

I graded some verifiche today and realized that with every correction my handwriting changed to be more similar to that of the student who wrote the exam. Funny.

I was just looking at the map of Europe trying to figure out the mess of where to go and what to do during the next few weeks... and noted that Italy and Vienna excluded, all the cities I have visited extend in a nearly perfect backslash from Munich to Athens. Munich, Ljubljana, Zagreb, Sarajevo, Athens. I think it's a sign of my captivity to technology. The dehumanization of Savannakind. You may travel but only in the form of an electronic character. Planning this period makes me frustrated because there is so much I want to see but I need to realize that I can't, but maybe later, but maybe not later.

On Sunday I went to my friend's house (Elvira) after church. She lives in a middle school in the city in Milan because her mom is a caretaker. It's pretty incredible... on weekends when there's no students they can go wherever they want in the school or on the grounds. Including the gym, computer lab, field outside. It's incredible--it's like living in a palace. This Saturday she's having a lunch party outside in the yard for the other church friends and I am sad to miss it, but I guess being at the Louvre will have to make up for it... but honestly it won't completely make up for it.

Thursday there's a lunch party here at home for me and Shawna with all the teachers we have worked with here at Pacioli... and they are a lot. Call me selfish but I hope someone brings me a present :) I love presents and are more accustomed to giving than getting them, so wouldn't that be fun?

My right eye is really bugging me, must be an eyelash, so I'm gonna go. I had a horrible dream last night where I felt very greedy... anyway. Ciao.

Savanna

volendo, volando, che male ti fò?

when shadows fall, she'll close her eyes to hear the clocks unwind,
powerless to leash the hands of time.
kingdoms fall, the earth revolves, the rain will come this spring...
and nothing she could say would change a thing.

--another nickel creek quotation

after friday i don't have a house in crema. and my job is over. and i'm going to paris for 2-3 days then to normandy for several days and then maybe madrid and then hopefully to the true italia, the deep south where the ocean and the hospitality are striking.

this week i am collecting my regrets (i always end up with a few) and trying to neutralize them.

oops, i forgot to finish writing. and i need to andarmene.
sava

Happy Easter!!!

Živijo. I'm in Bosnia and Herzogovina.

I have wanted to visit Sarajevo since I was 9 or 10 years old and I read a book called Zlata's Diary--Anne Frank Sarajevo style. So I up and took a train to this city with a tragic past and I LOVE it. Last night at the hostel I sat in the kitchen with a Basque and her Northern Irish boyfriend as we discussed the politics of ethnic conflict. Pretty sweet--three of the most prominent ethnic conflicts of recent history converge in a hostel in Sarajevo. Right now I am sitting across from the bridge where Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie were assassinated, starting the first world war. The city is sooo interesting with a strong Muslim culture. Teenage girls walk around with their head scarves on and I get jealous because they look so pretty. They really do it well. I heard the call for prayers at the mosque right next to me as I ate lunch. Oh and on the train I met a Bosnian Muslim grandma who lives now in Chicago so I promised her I would come visit. She gave me lunch--I left my entire sack of grocery store purchases on the train from Ljubljana when I got the connection in Zagreb. She pretty much saved me; it turned out to be a 6:15 am to 7 pm train ride.

Anyway I just wanted to say Happy Easter. The church doesn't exist here so I'm on my own tomorrow. I have my choice of Muslim, Jewish, and Christian places to visit--this is the "Jerusalem of Europe."

real quick update

went to munich last week.

maybe going to lago di como (where the real bellagio is) tomorrow

going to slovenia and croatia next week for easter holidays, and i have this ridiculous desire to see sarajevo while i'm there. wishes of a fourth-grade bookworm. i posted a request on the slovenia mission website and i got a couple responses with all these people i can go hang out with in ljubljana.

a bidella (caretaker) at school gave me two pairs of shoes--one black and elegant like for pantsuits or something, and one brown and sort of wingtipped don't know how to explain it, but they are nice, and serious, and i am glad because i don't ever buy serious stuff.

i'm still trying to figure out what to do this fall... and for grad school... agh.

i have some great new friends. they're adorable and shawna and i love them.

that's all i got time for... i'm out... ciao ciao ciao.