2009, O Wondrous Year

Copied from a facebook note, because that's easy.

2009 has become widely reputed to be an ugly year so I want to enumerate all of its wonders.

January-December: Teach for America
-Finished my Teach for America application in the Russian literature section of the Boston Public Library
-Somehow skipped the TFA phone interview, which I feel would have ruined my chances
-Researched possible TFA placements for weeks and weeks until I felt an unmistakable pull from the universe for me to go to Miami
-As soon as I received the email notifying me of my placement, went to Spencer's house to share the news, where he introduced me to my new home using YouTube videos of Miami Vice
-During induction, got pink eye after visiting a school for one hour
-Somehow got an amazing roommate
-Moved to Miami and became steward of Room 233, populated by 75 7th-grade and 50 6th-grade College-bound Scientific Investigators.
-Worked with truly innovative, dedicated, interesting, accepting, inspiring and inspired people.
-Ended most August and September days in an empty classroom with the question "WHAT just happened?"
-October: surplussed, un-surplussed, repeat. Still recovering.
-Visited NYC with other corps members and staff to solidify a vision of where we should be headed

February: I used my reserves of years of frequent flier miles to go to China to visit my trainer from my mission and the first two people I taught who joined the church.
-Flew into Shanghai, then to Zhengzhou, then overnight train from Kaifeng to Beijing Bei, then overnight train back to Shanghai.
-Cried HARD in the airport upon my reunion with Wang Xiaomei
-Received a Chinese name: Yang Hui, which includes meanings of fashion, foreign, clever.
-Spent amazing quality time with three of the people I love most in the world
-Met Richard's family and made dumplings with them
-Ate with chopsticks every meal for 2 weeks
-Visited the home of kong fu, the Shaolin temple
-Climbed the Great Wall of China
-Was photographed as though I were a celebrity
-Stayed in typical Chinese homes and was treated like an honored guest
-Got behind the wheel of a car at the Yellow River
-Met shepherds and held one of their baby goats along the Yellow River
-Visited Olympic sites with Franca and Ted
-Learned more Chinese than I thought I could
-There is really nothing I can write that can encapsulate how meaningful this was.

March through May: I worked for the Massachusetts Dep't of Unemployment helping people get connected to health insurance
-Gained insight and context into the national health care debate
-Became instant friends with coworkers

April: I reconnected with my childhood
-Found my best friend in Connecticut through facebook and drove to Waterbury, Connecticut to sleep on her couch and explore memories.
-Confirmed suspicions that choosing friends well is one of my superpowers, for though we hadn't communicated for a decade and a half, we studied the same things in college, have similar jobs, want to know the whole world, and got along like we hadn't missed a day.
-Visited our elementary school and in a moment of youthful abandon ran through the old lady's yard between her parents' backyard and my old house.

May: Epic roadtrip across America
-Surprised my family by showing up in Longmont when they thought I was in Boston
-Enjoyed 2000 miles of quality conversation--I didn't sleep one second in the car--with an incredible friend
-"Violins are harder to play," "those clouds are fleeing like refugees," texting sidekick, etc.
-Stayed with the long-lost cousin whom I'd considered my best friend when I was a tiny person
-Visited Niagara Falls and got interrogated by border patrol on our way back
-Stopped at Notre Dame, which eventually contributed to getting an awesome roommate in Miami
-Found President Obama's house in Chicago
-Introduced people I love to more people I love
-Stayed with my Shawna
-The day after arrival, received picture message updates to my phone while my Longfellow Park church burned down.

May: The Exodus
-Left Boston, land of my forefathers, and have thought about it every day since
-Introduced Alise to Boston, NYC, Waterbury, the New Jersey Turnpike, and Washington DC as she accompanied me on my move away from the heartland
-Spent several days in DC with loving family and friends
-Got to stay with the Lewises, the Whites, Annie, and Janna en route to Atlanta

June-July: TFA Institute in Atlanta
-Got an average of 4 hours of sleep a night during training, and once even worked for 36 hours straight. (I fell asleep standing up that day.)
-Somehow established an awesome relationship with my CMA and Sutton school staff (hi!) despite struggling with the work
-Taught 8th grade math
-Realized at the end of June that I had forgotten my sister's birthday two weeks earlier

July: California and Utah and back to Florida
-Flew from Orlando to meet my family in Northern California--visited the Redwoods, stayed with the generous Walsh relatives, saw the graves of my great-grandparents' from Norway, saw the grave for the first time of my grandfather who died while I was on my mission in Australia
-Reconnected with dear friends from Australia
-Flew back to Orlando and made the last, loneliest drive to Miami

Starting in August: MBII
-became unofficial co-branch mission leader upon stepping foot in the Indian Creek building
-found close friends in a group of incredibly supportive, non-judgmental, FUN people
-baptism of V, N, S
-"does she know?"
-Latin danced with Cubans (to some of you this may not sound like a novelty)
-temple bus trip in November (life saved by Cuban sandwich, Spanish session, sitting with Cristy and stirring up conversations)
-Ashley (can't assign words to this one)

All year: I saw my close friends' families expanding
-Met Brandon and Jenni's new daughter in NYC
-Attended Brent and Carrie's wedding in Orlando--my first temple wedding
-Saw Amanda after being married to Branden
-Lived with Annie while she become engaged then married
-met Kristi's baby
-met Rachel and Ryan's baby
-Met Elder Caldwell's wife Jessica and spent a few Sunday afternoons with them while I lived in Atlanta

Adventurized
-July: Explored Savannah, Georgia on my own
-September: Took Crystal and Christina snorkeling in Key Largo
-September: visit from Celeste
-October: Returned on a pilgrimage to Boston for the education conference, had precious reunions, masqueraded at the Harvard Club, ate Bosnian food, ate Indian food, maintained my relationship with Walden Pond
-November: Ate sushi for the first time on my 25th birthday. Also was treated to gelato and late-night staring at the beach.
-November: Went to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving with my Miamian partner in adventure
-December: Stayed with Lori in Manhattan and didn't get enough time with her
-December: Home for Christmas. Someone to watch BYU football with for once. Sledding, Christmas Eve at the Hawkins' and Christmas Day with the Seyfis', Denver Art Museum and KIPP with Juliet, missed Miami a little.
-Sometime in the last few months: Paid off my underemployment-era credit card
-Fell in love with Cuban food, standard institution of choice: Versailles.

(What am I missing?)

Counsel me not

I wrote this as an entry on my good friend Dain's website, theironrod.org. He built it as a forum where people can read sections of the Book of Mormon at the same time then discuss their reading. He was inspired by his friends who have joined the church but have fallen away because they haven't gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon.


I teach middle school science to students from a community where everyday life is infused with violence and poverty. I'm doing this because I believe they, with strong leadership, can change their stars if they get a solid education. Many people--my friends, some coworkers, and others--have told me these particular kids can't learn, have made disparaging remarks about their neighborhood, have advised me to quit, and have said other things that would undermine my efforts.

While reading Jacob 5 during our silent reading time at the beginning of the school day, I came across these verses that deeply affected me:

21 And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master: How comest thou hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard.

22 And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not; I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit.

People have told me how poor this spot of ground is where I work, but look! I am nourishing it diligently, with heart and tears. It will bring forth fruit: it will bring people successfully to an academic future, adulthood, and hopefully some other results that I cannot forsee.

apology letters

My advanced 6th grade class is so collectively incredibly disruptive and frustrating. I have tried a string of strategies to help fix the problem. Last class period I assigned homework: an apology letter for talking while I am trying to teach. The people who wrote them were the better behaved ones, naturally.

This one made me laugh:

Dear Ms Nilsen

Sorry for misbehaving in your class I was acting like a donkey in the wildness I was only trying your class look fun because from what I hear about that class is "oh it boring up in there" "She never let us do anything" but I will try and be good

Sincerely D.F.,
<3

This one almost made me cry:

Dear Ms. Nilsen,

I'm sorry for anything me or my classmates did wrong. Please I know you always going to forgive us. But just know you may not see a difference in some student. But, believe you will see a change in me: K.S.!

Truely, (Your #1 Student)

I'm not sure this one is really from the person whose name is on it:

Dear Ms Nilsen (e's written as 3's)

I'm sorry for miss behaving because I don't like you.

Sincerly A.U.

Somehow these brightened the end of my day.

practicing for awesome

I hope that the experiences I have chosen that have been attended by some feelings of being out of place and isolation are orchestrated to help me prepare for something really awesome when finally I grow up. The scenario I have come up with is needing to live in a foreign country in my future married life because of Husband's job. That is something that I actually hope does happen and I think I will know how to make the absolute most out of it.

mission archives

I just posted several months--the only ones I've found so far--of the emails I sent to my family while I was on my mission. They're actually pretty good. You'll find them in the archives from last month of 2006, 2007, and January through April 2008. And what I mean by telling you this is if they show up in your RSS feed, don't be fooled into thinking they are current.

In honor of finding the emails, here are two actual thoughts I had on my mission:

1. I wish someone would invent instant mail.
2. I wish I could have a group of like 5-6 investigators that I raise from birth so that they grow up with correct ideas.

Yep.

bad at holidays

I received advice to come back ready to confront the challenges (yes, challenges) of Miami: Edition 2010 rested and rejuvenated. Ha! I have been stressed this whole break--a fusion of worry and sense of powerlessness will do this. I will shield you, dear reader, from a bullet list of my woes. Aiuto!

announcement

I got into graduate school!

Masters of Science in Education and Social Change at the University of Miami.

Can one be taught how to change society?

I have to register my car in Florida in the upcoming days. I'm trying to decide how ridiculous it would be to buy a University of Miami license plate, since I don't really have that much connection to the school yet.

no title

I am bad at my job right now, even getting worse I believe, and it is really wearing me down.

I got 8 hours of sleep last night, yet in my last class I barely had strength amidst the flying crumpled pieces of paper just because of intense disappointment.

Mooooooaaan.

mass love letter :)

Listen, something extraordinary has been going on in my young single adult branch over the past couple of months. I've been part of several conversations marveling over how happy we are with our little group and wondering what caused the change. It has made my experience so far highly rewarding. Feeling especially wonderful and surprised, I sent this last night to about 15 people that I feel close to. You know most of it already.


Subject: I'm not just doing this because it's Thanksgiving

My dear familia Miamiana:

Hi. This email is meant to be serious. Don't laugh too much :)

In Australia, they've invented the second person plural--they often say "yous" when they're talking to more than one person. I'm writing to say, so eloquently, that I <3 yous. A lot. I'm serious!!!

Here's a good story: getting in to Teach for America (the organization that brought me here) is kind of like getting a mission call: you apply and go through this crazy interview process, which includes choosing among 30 different regions that you'd like to move to. If you get in, you either accept the region they assign you to or you reject it. I've always wanted to live in Washington, D.C., so I thought that would be my obvious first choice. I researched each of the regions: whether they had a YSA ward, whether I'd like the local culture, the cost of living, whether there was a temple nearby, and Miami was not on my list of preferred areas. But as I prayed about it and talked to one of my friends about it, I couldn't forget Miami. I decided to look up the institute director and email him to find out more about the YSA network here. As I began the email "Dear Brother C, I am considering a move to Miami...", I experienced a profound sense of "this could be right..." and sat there at my desk at work and cried (for thankfulness). I usually don't get answers to prayers that way--usually I just decide what I want to do and ask whether there will be a stamp of approval. It was remarkable.

So I did something bold: put Miami as my only highly preferred region, removing D.C., Boston, and other areas I'd considered from the list. When I got my assignment a month and a half later and saw that I was assigned to Miami, I felt closer to eternity, that God wanted me here, that I could receive personal revelation, that this was going to be huge. It was really overwhelming for me to leave Boston, the land of my ancestors, to leave my closest friends and go where I had no family or friends and can't speak the language :) to begin an incredibly difficult job. I held my breath, packed my car, and fled New England by night.

Now.

(This is the part where words escape me.) It is so surprising to me how connected I feel to all of you, how comfortable and valued and confident and loved I feel here. I can't believe it. My happiness quotient has multiplied like 5,000 times since getting to know you. Thinking about Sundays and Wednesday nights and anything else where we get together gets me through the week. So, thank you, you're beautiful, I'm adopting you as my family here. Settled.

I luuuuurrrrrrrrve you.
Savanna

is this my industry?

This is my graduate school application essay. It is my first and only draft, so I hope there aren't any embarrassing errors. Quotes are correctly referenced in the original document.

A gaping disparity separates what students from low-income communities and their contemporaries in wealthier neighborhoods achieve in school. Known as the achievement gap, this divide usually means lower high school graduation rates and limited salaries and opportunities for America’s racial minorities. The achievement gap is currently considered to be one of the most salient injustices in America as well as the theatre where this generation’s civil rights battle is played out.

Though it is impossible to isolate the cause of the achievement gap, it has mobilized reform-minded civil servants, education administrators, and private companies to attempt to solve the problem. One idea that is currently being systematically and scientifically researched is providing tangible incentives to students for their performance in school. Outside of elementary and secondary education, individuals and organizations work for incentives. Employees go to work and fulfill expectations in order to earn money; companies compete to make better products so they can increase their value; nations on the international stage align their conduct to get international aid. People generally make choices that will maximize the benefits that they get out of their actions.

Innovators in education have noted the importance of incentives in most aspects of modern life and reason that providing incentives for student performance will train students early on in the value of hard work and supplement the joy of learning with rewards that students in wealthier families often receive but students from low-income communities do not have access to. One line of reasoning is that if students cannot see how doing well in school will benefit their lives, if the incentives are too far removed from their interests, they may choose activities that are contrary to academic performance. Competing interests include “gang members who encourage kids to drop out and sell drugs and parents who urge their children to drop out, get a job, and help support the family”.

The premier social scientist who is studying how incentives influence student achievement is Roland Fryer, economist at Harvard and head of its Education Innovation Laboratory. Through partnerships with three of America’s largest school districts, where the achievement gap is the most pronounced, the Education Innovation Laboratory pays students cash in return for good grades, attendance, and classroom behavior. Students in Chicago, New York, and Washington, D.C. receive money according to specified indicators of performance as reported by their teachers. Because of the prominence and scope of his study, this essay uses Dr. Fryer’s work to explore how providing incentives to students for their performance affects and is viewed by their teachers, students, school administrators, and the local community.
The practice of giving students rewards for their grades is both celebrated and criticized. Critics contend that giving cash for grades undermines the joy of learning and even equates to bribing students. Advocates, including the scientists who study the effect of incentives and the administrators whose job it is to oversee students, say the solution is worth a try and is valuable as long as it yields results. Students appreciate the money. Members of the community, including parents and local media outlets, have expressed both concern and support.

Since they see manifestations of the achievement gap every day, teachers are highly affected by this issue. They play a crucial role in measuring and reporting students’ performance. Teachers whose students were involved in Dr. Fryer’s study, many of whom were skeptical at first, reported improvements in their pupils’ performance. Teachers also have incentive to improve student performance. At one school in New York City, teachers were eligible to receive a bonus of up to $3,000 when their students’ state test scores improved.

As student achievement is the primary purpose for the study on how cash incentives influence academic performance, considering how the issue affects and is viewed by students is most relevant. Official results and analysis from the Education Innovation Laboratory are not yet available, but a similar program that provided incentives for scores on Advanced Placement tests reported better scores on tests and more students going on to attend college. Similarly, anecdotal evidence from the Education Innovation Laboratory preliminarily displays improvement in academic performance.

Of course, as benefactors of the Education Innovation Laboratory rewards, students have positive reviews. Many students are enthusiastic and give thoughtful reflections about the effects of receiving money for their efforts. One 12-year-old seventh grader in the Washington, D.C. district said "I think it's a good way to motivate kids to do good work…. I think it's a good idea for the public schools." A 14-year-old student in Chicago said "I'm happy because I'm getting paid for my grades. And so, I want to work harder." This student’s response shows that receiving incentives for high performance has the correlative effect of feeling good about doing well, which could nurture an inherent joy for learning.

Administrators have a huge stake in making sure that student performance improves. In Washington, D.C., the intent of Chancellor Michelle Rhee’s appointment was largely to confront the district’s achievement gap. In her district, 36 percent of students are proficient in reading and 33 percent are proficient in math. Rhee is in favor of the controversial incentives-based program as far as it is effective, saying that it is worth a try. The focus in Washington, D.C. is on middle school students, since that is the time when students have the most difficulties with behavior and academic performance. Providing incentives helps them connect current performance with future success. Rhee says that “expecting students to do well in middle school is asking them to make a calculation on skills that will help them graduate from high school and succeed in college, ideas that to them are foreign and very far away." Rhee’s perspective is similar to that of former Chicago Public Schools CEO Arne Duncan and other administrators who are willing to test any promising strategy that will improve student performance.

While district administrators have embraced incentives for student performance, school principals have been wary of the program at first but have changed their minds upon seeing results. For example, Sheila Richards, principal of a school in Brooklyn, was opposed to Fryer’s project until she saw marked increases in student grades and students learning new values and skills to take care of their money by saving it in bank accounts. Other principals were skeptical until Dr. Fryer pitched it to them then said “We want to do whatever it takes, so if this is it, I am going to get on board.”

Parents have had mixed reactions to the practice of providing cash incentives to students for their performance. Michelle Rhee says that she has received no complaints from parents of students who are in the program. One parent and activist in D.C., though, is reported to have said that she wants her kids “to see reading and learning as something they want to do their entire life, not just something they're getting money for doing."

The achievement gap has effects beyond those on the lives of teachers, students, their families and administrators: the vibrancy of local communities depends on the strength of its citizens. In Chicago, one of the test areas where selected students in public schools receive cash for their grades, the Chicago Sun-Times published an editorial in favor of Dr. Fryer’s work for the benefits it could provide to society, saying “we like this idea and, if anything, it doesn't go far enough.” The editorial says that the rest of the world is driven by incentives so if that’s how children are going to learn, learning needs to become students’ paying job. Students must learn skills that will help them understand the world and function effectively in society, and the eventual rewards extend beyond what the students receive to benefit society.

My appreciation of this issue will be expressed most in my day-to-day classroom activities. Equipped with an understanding of how incentives for performance help students connect their daily performance in school with what they want on both the short-term and long-term scale, I can adjust my classroom efforts to maximize student achievement. While I have neither the organizational support nor the resources to give my students cash incentives, I can create a predictable, reliable, privilege-bearing incentives system that will help children realize the benefits of doing well on tests, having good attendance, and behaving well in class. I can generate reports that show the correlation between the receipt of incentives and indicators of student performance. Then, if studies such as Dr. Fryer’s ever extend to the Miami-Dade area, I can be a voice of support, having conclusive data that shows such a program can work for the students who are now limited by Miami-Dade’s achievement gap.

more things to keep

Humor me as I attempt to remember everything I want to keep from this weekend.

-I rode the bus to the Orlando temple and did an endowment session. The session was in Spanish, the translator headphones were annoying and inconsistent, and I mostly understood it, so I listened the whole time in Spanish. Yep.
-The charter bus picked up people from Kendall, Miami Beach, Plantation, and West Palm Beach. The Miami Beach cohort sat in the back and was the loudest and most fun and very aware of the possibility of being annoying. We have great branch unity.
-I worked on my graduate admission essay on the bus yesterday, then this morning before church and for a few hours tonight. I just submitted the entire application. I've always wanted to go to graduate school (which has usually meant international politics, justice, medicine, law, journalism, and usually not education unless it was ed policy or administration), so it was a big moment.
-I read a few chapters of 2 Nephi this morning and they were powerful. I am able to do mine own work is one of my favorite scriptural phrases, and the importance of Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? struck me. I find the Book of Mormon so intellectually stimulating, its doctrines so logical (I know...) and aligned. The Book of Mormon always sustains my interest.
-The assistants to the president came to our ward council/executive council meeting this morning, and they were so sharp and authoritative on how things are supposed to function. I LOVE people who know what they're talking about in situations that need to be somewhat reformed, without being arrogant of course. It's so refreshing.
-Also one of them told me something about Cuba...
-I finalized plans today for an engagement at the opera next weekend with precisely the person I'd want to go with, we had fun arranging the details, he seems pretty happy about it, and I am not driving. This makes me feel very proud of myself. The anticipation will get me through the week.
-I helped the missionaries get a new investigator or two. One guy walked into church wearing a vintage Where the Wild Things are t-shirt, skinny jeans, and a hat with a feather in it. Also he had a serious Boston accent. Awesome, except I shouldn't have told him I liked his style and his accent because he started being a little too nice to me. At least he'll probably come to institute this week. He wrote it down, anyway.
-On the bus (4+ hours each way), we really got to know each other through some interesting topics of conversation (you can guess what topic we found most pressing) and I felt right at home today at church. Like I felt like people know more about what I'm really like (this is important to me since I never act completely like me in new situations), and that that person is confident and caring and joyful and bold, and the barriers I perceived before are largely gone. I've found out some amazing things about people as I've gotten to know them and have found it so rewarding.
-My hair was awesome today. I did a loose, low updo and placed my black silk flower at the side of it, and it actually looked good. Someone asked me if I did it myself.
-My mission president wrote me a letter of recommendation where he called me articulate, well educated, and charismatic. It said "I was able to witness Savanna develop a deep love and respect for individuals from third-world cultures and rather impoverished backgrounds while at the same time I witnessed her conversing well and relating with the most educated and sophisticated Melbournians..." This letter made me think about those people--both impoverished and sophisticated--that I did love deeply. Every day I realize a bit more how valuable my mission experience was and continues to be.
-A few people wrote letters of recommendation for me without giving them much time to complete the task, and I am so humbled by their willingness to turn around the somewhat ridiculous deadlines I gave them.
-November is the perfect time of year in Miami. The weather is perfect. After church we just stood in the parking lot and stared at the water and boats and setting sun.
-I'm craving some out-of-town visitors. Who is coming in December/January?