Best of one

This behavior is so interesting to me, and may not be interesting to anyone else:

It is Australia Day. I wanted to make it memorable, so I broke into my store of Sipahh straws (Straws that have flavor beads in them that turn milk into cookies and cream or mint chocolate flavor) and grabbed the little kangaroo stuffed animals I meant to send as gifts once upon a time.

When students make good choices in class (my favorite one is getting to work without me telling them to or following directions right away or improving behavior), they get a little piece of paper called an opportunity ticket. It represents the opportunities people get in life when they do good things. The tickets then go into a drawing.

So today, my raffle prizes were the flavored straws (good because it's just before lunch) and the kangaroo. Two boys, J and A, won the straws. The first one, J, called out which flavor he wanted ("I want cookies and cream!!") and the second one, A, then called out "I want mint chocolate!" The thing that is interesting to me is that A said he wanted the only flavor that was left.

What was the purpose of A claiming the mint chocolate Sipahh straw? J could dominate any physical contest and is verbally dominant. I suspect that A would not dare contest J's claim on the cookies and cream, even if he actually wanted it. But he still wanted to appear that he was getting what he wanted so that it didn't look like J was controlling him. Why else would he actively claim the only one of two options remaining?

Interesting?

Danger

There was a weapon in my classroom today. Confiscated. Student Removed. Drama. Thank goodness it was a pocketknife and not a firearm.

It really was a pretty calm ordeal, but still a milestone in an absurd way.

thoughtful roommate

I received the lime green and pink version of this email this morning from my roommate and I want to keep it. (I don't know html well enough to do the colors right now)

Have a fabulous first day of grad school! :-D

You'll do GREAT!

-Ms. C (sorry I didn't see you before I left for school today!)

2009, O Wondrous Year

Copied from a facebook note, because that's easy.

2009 has become widely reputed to be an ugly year so I want to enumerate all of its wonders.

January-December: Teach for America
-Finished my Teach for America application in the Russian literature section of the Boston Public Library
-Somehow skipped the TFA phone interview, which I feel would have ruined my chances
-Researched possible TFA placements for weeks and weeks until I felt an unmistakable pull from the universe for me to go to Miami
-As soon as I received the email notifying me of my placement, went to Spencer's house to share the news, where he introduced me to my new home using YouTube videos of Miami Vice
-During induction, got pink eye after visiting a school for one hour
-Somehow got an amazing roommate
-Moved to Miami and became steward of Room 233, populated by 75 7th-grade and 50 6th-grade College-bound Scientific Investigators.
-Worked with truly innovative, dedicated, interesting, accepting, inspiring and inspired people.
-Ended most August and September days in an empty classroom with the question "WHAT just happened?"
-October: surplussed, un-surplussed, repeat. Still recovering.
-Visited NYC with other corps members and staff to solidify a vision of where we should be headed

February: I used my reserves of years of frequent flier miles to go to China to visit my trainer from my mission and the first two people I taught who joined the church.
-Flew into Shanghai, then to Zhengzhou, then overnight train from Kaifeng to Beijing Bei, then overnight train back to Shanghai.
-Cried HARD in the airport upon my reunion with Wang Xiaomei
-Received a Chinese name: Yang Hui, which includes meanings of fashion, foreign, clever.
-Spent amazing quality time with three of the people I love most in the world
-Met Richard's family and made dumplings with them
-Ate with chopsticks every meal for 2 weeks
-Visited the home of kong fu, the Shaolin temple
-Climbed the Great Wall of China
-Was photographed as though I were a celebrity
-Stayed in typical Chinese homes and was treated like an honored guest
-Got behind the wheel of a car at the Yellow River
-Met shepherds and held one of their baby goats along the Yellow River
-Visited Olympic sites with Franca and Ted
-Learned more Chinese than I thought I could
-There is really nothing I can write that can encapsulate how meaningful this was.

March through May: I worked for the Massachusetts Dep't of Unemployment helping people get connected to health insurance
-Gained insight and context into the national health care debate
-Became instant friends with coworkers

April: I reconnected with my childhood
-Found my best friend in Connecticut through facebook and drove to Waterbury, Connecticut to sleep on her couch and explore memories.
-Confirmed suspicions that choosing friends well is one of my superpowers, for though we hadn't communicated for a decade and a half, we studied the same things in college, have similar jobs, want to know the whole world, and got along like we hadn't missed a day.
-Visited our elementary school and in a moment of youthful abandon ran through the old lady's yard between her parents' backyard and my old house.

May: Epic roadtrip across America
-Surprised my family by showing up in Longmont when they thought I was in Boston
-Enjoyed 2000 miles of quality conversation--I didn't sleep one second in the car--with an incredible friend
-"Violins are harder to play," "those clouds are fleeing like refugees," texting sidekick, etc.
-Stayed with the long-lost cousin whom I'd considered my best friend when I was a tiny person
-Visited Niagara Falls and got interrogated by border patrol on our way back
-Stopped at Notre Dame, which eventually contributed to getting an awesome roommate in Miami
-Found President Obama's house in Chicago
-Introduced people I love to more people I love
-Stayed with my Shawna
-The day after arrival, received picture message updates to my phone while my Longfellow Park church burned down.

May: The Exodus
-Left Boston, land of my forefathers, and have thought about it every day since
-Introduced Alise to Boston, NYC, Waterbury, the New Jersey Turnpike, and Washington DC as she accompanied me on my move away from the heartland
-Spent several days in DC with loving family and friends
-Got to stay with the Lewises, the Whites, Annie, and Janna en route to Atlanta

June-July: TFA Institute in Atlanta
-Got an average of 4 hours of sleep a night during training, and once even worked for 36 hours straight. (I fell asleep standing up that day.)
-Somehow established an awesome relationship with my CMA and Sutton school staff (hi!) despite struggling with the work
-Taught 8th grade math
-Realized at the end of June that I had forgotten my sister's birthday two weeks earlier

July: California and Utah and back to Florida
-Flew from Orlando to meet my family in Northern California--visited the Redwoods, stayed with the generous Walsh relatives, saw the graves of my great-grandparents' from Norway, saw the grave for the first time of my grandfather who died while I was on my mission in Australia
-Reconnected with dear friends from Australia
-Flew back to Orlando and made the last, loneliest drive to Miami

Starting in August: MBII
-became unofficial co-branch mission leader upon stepping foot in the Indian Creek building
-found close friends in a group of incredibly supportive, non-judgmental, FUN people
-baptism of V, N, S
-"does she know?"
-Latin danced with Cubans (to some of you this may not sound like a novelty)
-temple bus trip in November (life saved by Cuban sandwich, Spanish session, sitting with Cristy and stirring up conversations)
-Ashley (can't assign words to this one)

All year: I saw my close friends' families expanding
-Met Brandon and Jenni's new daughter in NYC
-Attended Brent and Carrie's wedding in Orlando--my first temple wedding
-Saw Amanda after being married to Branden
-Lived with Annie while she become engaged then married
-met Kristi's baby
-met Rachel and Ryan's baby
-Met Elder Caldwell's wife Jessica and spent a few Sunday afternoons with them while I lived in Atlanta

Adventurized
-July: Explored Savannah, Georgia on my own
-September: Took Crystal and Christina snorkeling in Key Largo
-September: visit from Celeste
-October: Returned on a pilgrimage to Boston for the education conference, had precious reunions, masqueraded at the Harvard Club, ate Bosnian food, ate Indian food, maintained my relationship with Walden Pond
-November: Ate sushi for the first time on my 25th birthday. Also was treated to gelato and late-night staring at the beach.
-November: Went to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving with my Miamian partner in adventure
-December: Stayed with Lori in Manhattan and didn't get enough time with her
-December: Home for Christmas. Someone to watch BYU football with for once. Sledding, Christmas Eve at the Hawkins' and Christmas Day with the Seyfis', Denver Art Museum and KIPP with Juliet, missed Miami a little.
-Sometime in the last few months: Paid off my underemployment-era credit card
-Fell in love with Cuban food, standard institution of choice: Versailles.

(What am I missing?)

Counsel me not

I wrote this as an entry on my good friend Dain's website, theironrod.org. He built it as a forum where people can read sections of the Book of Mormon at the same time then discuss their reading. He was inspired by his friends who have joined the church but have fallen away because they haven't gained a testimony of the Book of Mormon.


I teach middle school science to students from a community where everyday life is infused with violence and poverty. I'm doing this because I believe they, with strong leadership, can change their stars if they get a solid education. Many people--my friends, some coworkers, and others--have told me these particular kids can't learn, have made disparaging remarks about their neighborhood, have advised me to quit, and have said other things that would undermine my efforts.

While reading Jacob 5 during our silent reading time at the beginning of the school day, I came across these verses that deeply affected me:

21 And it came to pass that the servant said unto his master: How comest thou hither to plant this tree, or this branch of the tree? For behold, it was the poorest spot in all the land of thy vineyard.

22 And the Lord of the vineyard said unto him: Counsel me not; I knew that it was a poor spot of ground; wherefore, I said unto thee, I have nourished it this long time, and thou beholdest that it hath brought forth much fruit.

People have told me how poor this spot of ground is where I work, but look! I am nourishing it diligently, with heart and tears. It will bring forth fruit: it will bring people successfully to an academic future, adulthood, and hopefully some other results that I cannot forsee.

apology letters

My advanced 6th grade class is so collectively incredibly disruptive and frustrating. I have tried a string of strategies to help fix the problem. Last class period I assigned homework: an apology letter for talking while I am trying to teach. The people who wrote them were the better behaved ones, naturally.

This one made me laugh:

Dear Ms Nilsen

Sorry for misbehaving in your class I was acting like a donkey in the wildness I was only trying your class look fun because from what I hear about that class is "oh it boring up in there" "She never let us do anything" but I will try and be good

Sincerely D.F.,
<3

This one almost made me cry:

Dear Ms. Nilsen,

I'm sorry for anything me or my classmates did wrong. Please I know you always going to forgive us. But just know you may not see a difference in some student. But, believe you will see a change in me: K.S.!

Truely, (Your #1 Student)

I'm not sure this one is really from the person whose name is on it:

Dear Ms Nilsen (e's written as 3's)

I'm sorry for miss behaving because I don't like you.

Sincerly A.U.

Somehow these brightened the end of my day.

practicing for awesome

I hope that the experiences I have chosen that have been attended by some feelings of being out of place and isolation are orchestrated to help me prepare for something really awesome when finally I grow up. The scenario I have come up with is needing to live in a foreign country in my future married life because of Husband's job. That is something that I actually hope does happen and I think I will know how to make the absolute most out of it.

mission archives

I just posted several months--the only ones I've found so far--of the emails I sent to my family while I was on my mission. They're actually pretty good. You'll find them in the archives from last month of 2006, 2007, and January through April 2008. And what I mean by telling you this is if they show up in your RSS feed, don't be fooled into thinking they are current.

In honor of finding the emails, here are two actual thoughts I had on my mission:

1. I wish someone would invent instant mail.
2. I wish I could have a group of like 5-6 investigators that I raise from birth so that they grow up with correct ideas.

Yep.

bad at holidays

I received advice to come back ready to confront the challenges (yes, challenges) of Miami: Edition 2010 rested and rejuvenated. Ha! I have been stressed this whole break--a fusion of worry and sense of powerlessness will do this. I will shield you, dear reader, from a bullet list of my woes. Aiuto!

announcement

I got into graduate school!

Masters of Science in Education and Social Change at the University of Miami.

Can one be taught how to change society?

I have to register my car in Florida in the upcoming days. I'm trying to decide how ridiculous it would be to buy a University of Miami license plate, since I don't really have that much connection to the school yet.

no title

I am bad at my job right now, even getting worse I believe, and it is really wearing me down.

I got 8 hours of sleep last night, yet in my last class I barely had strength amidst the flying crumpled pieces of paper just because of intense disappointment.

Mooooooaaan.